11 ways anger management counselling can help

Everything you need to know about counselling or therapy for anger issues

Your search for anger management counselling or help may feel like a last resort.

Perhaps you’ve lost your rag too many times, and you, and possibly people around you – have become concerned about your behaviour.

You may have been told your behaviour is unacceptable or even abusive – at work, the sports club, the club or pub, or at home.

Perhaps your partner or spouse has threatened to leave you unless you ‘sort yourself out’ and get help.

Chances are you’ve heard any or all of these before:

• “Don’t get so upset – it’s not worth it.”
• “Calm down – you’re overreacting.”
• “You’ve got a problem.”

You’re here now because you realise you need help with your anger issues. You’re to be commended for taking action and hunting down where you can get anger management counselling.

Be sure also to read my article about anger management tips.

Let’s get your sorted.

What do I know about anger management counselling?

I’m a qualified counsellor with 24 years of experience in mental health and relationship therapy.

During that time, I’ve helped sooo many people overcome their anger issues.

With this article, I strive to give you the confidence to access anger management counselling starting today.

My wish for you is that you’re no longer held hostage by your emotional turmoil and angry outbursts.

When an anger management counsellor should not be your first port of call

Angry for no reason?

There’s little point in going for anger management counselling if you’re on medication that plays havoc with your mental state. You won’t stand a chance of gaining control if meds sabotage your attempts to overcome your rage.

I suspect you attach your anger to something or someone. But your anger may have nothing to do with what happened at that moment and feel like anger ‘for no reason’.

Your medication could contribute to your feeling anything from mildly irritable to out of control with rage.

So, the first thing you’ll need to do is to check the side effects of whatever medication you’ve been prescribed.

Are your anger issues due to the side effects of prescribed or recreational drugs?

The side effects of the following medications vary from mild irritability to an absolute rage with homicidal and suicidal feelings (often referred to as ‘aggitation’, if ever there was a misnomer!):

1. One of the side effects of Adderall to treat ADHD and narcolepsy (also used as a recreational drug) is aggression.
2. The side effects of Lamotrigine (brand name Lamictal) to treat epilepsy and bipolar disorder are irritability, aggressive behaviour, dangerous impulses and sleep problems.
3. The side effects of some antidepressants from the SSRI family, prescribed for depression and mood disorders, include agitation.
4. One of the side effects of beta-blockers to treat high blood pressure and heart problems is sleep problems. Lack of sleep likely contributes to your anger issues.
5. The side effects of statins to treat high cholesterol include irritability and aggression.
6. There’s a link between aggression and benzodiazepines prescribed for anxiety and sleep problems

Are you taking any recreational drugs?

Recreational drugs include: 

• Stimulants such as cocaine, marihuana (yes, the newer version!), methamphetamine, amphetamine and synthetics nicknamed bath salts and spice.”
• Hallucinogens such as LSD and PCP.

Anger and depression are linked; if you are using recreational drugs, you may also be depressed.

So I really hope this article will be of use to you if only to nudge you in the direction of professional help.

Could a head injury be causing your anger issues?

Why you might need a brain scan when you have anger issues

Sounds scary and rather dramatic, doesn’t it? Yet even a minor head injury can cause you to feel angry for no reason.

But you may have, knowingly or unknowingly, suffered a (minor) head injury, and one of the symptoms of that is rapid and seemingly uncontrollable mood changes.

Could you have:

• fallen on your head as a child or an adult,
• had an accident after which a brain injury may or may not have been diagnosed,
• been whacked on the head by someone,
• Or have you played contact sports such as boxing, rugby or football? We now know that these sports can leave a legacy of brain injuries called Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, CTE for short.

There may be another underlying factor – a bit of a tricky one. Watch this video to find out why.

Before considering anger counselling, you must see a professional specialising in brain injuries.

If there’s been no chance you’ve suffered a brain injury, let’s discuss why getting anger management counselling is such a good idea.

When you should see your family doctor before getting anger therapy

5 medical reasons why you’re always feeling angry

According to this article in the Medical Daily, there are 8 medical conditions potentially causing your angry feelings:

1. Brain injury (as discussed further up)
2. High cholesterol
3. Diabetes
4. Overactive thyroid
5. Alzheimer’s disease

With all the reasons not to start with anger counselling, let’s look at when you could really benefit from therapy for your anger.

When anger management counselling is just right

What’s your way of expressing anger?

Anger is a feeling that alerts you to an underlying problem.

On one end of the scale, anger can lead to aggression and even physical violence. On the other end, it can drive you to take positive action.

Unfortunately, when you’re in the grip of rage, you can’t think straight. You’re no longer in control of your feelings and can no longer choose how to deal with that anger. An explosive outburst may result, and you’re likely to do and say things you regret later.

Expressing anger by any of the following doesn’t befit a loving relationship either:

• being constantly critical
• sneering
• shouting
• gaslighting
• physical abuse

And even having an affair is a way of expressing anger!

Another way of expressing your anger is by withholding:

• deliberately withholding your love
• ignoring your partner or spouse
• not responding or replying late to messages
• coming home late without informing your spouse or partner
• purposely leaving a mess
• etc.

We call that passive-aggressiveness.

But help is at hand: anger management counselling can be an effective way to overcome those anger issues.

Non-judgemental anger management therapy

Perhaps you’ve been told by your boss, partner or someone else to have anger management counselling.

Maybe you’ve felt like you’re going crazy and that something’s ‘not right in your head’.

None of that is helpful, you’ll agree!

So, you’ll be glad to know that none of that will happen when you reach out for anger management therapy. Your counsellor or therapist won’t judge you!

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), as offered by Online-Therapy, is proven successful in treating anger issues.

You may no longer have to ‘manage’ anger

They’ll use anger management therapy to help you understand the triggers and underlying issues. It’s quite possible that anger management counselling helps you overcome the underlying cause of your anger. That means you’ll no longer need to ‘manage’ your anger. Your outlook and feelings will have changed.

It simply won’t be an issue anymore. Sure, you’ll still be able to feel anger, but likely not to the extent that you’re out of control.

Understanding your frustrations and moods offers the opportunity of finding a solution. Once you know the problem, you can fix that over which you have a measure of control.

What’s causing your anger?

I may not have mentioned your particular problem – but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t count!

Is anger management therapy effective?

Counselling or therapy for anger or any other type of psychological distress can be really effective.

Just look at this article in the Guardian (opens in a new tab).

However, your gains in anger therapy will depend on two main conditions:

• your willingness to commit to doing the work and…
• the quality of the relationship with your therapist and their orientation. See my article on finding the right counsellor for you.

How anger management therapy or counselling can help

Still not sold on the idea of anger management counselling?

Maybe the following helps.

11 ways an anger management counsellor can help you

Here’s how an anger management therapist or counsellor can help:

1. They won’t judge you but see your behaviour in the context of your life’s experiences, life stage, social environment and culture.
2. They will team up with you to help you overcome your anger issues.
3. They will help you make sense of tumultuous feelings – from mild irritation and agitation to explosive anger.
4. They will listen intently to your concerns. Getting things off your chest will likely reduce your stress levels and calm you down.
5. They will help you see things from a new perspective.
6. They will teach you anger management link techniques to help soothe yourself.
7. They can help you make amends and repair your relationship.
8. They can help you cope better with the adverse events over which you have no control and deal more effectively with those you can control.
9. They can counsel you to overcome any trauma you may have suffered (see also How to cope with PTSD).
10. They can help you to communicate more effectively and remain calm when you and your spouse or partner are at loggerheads (see also 42 reasons why couples argue so much)
11. They’ll help you deal with any other psychological distress.

Anger management counselling near you

Unfortunately, there are very few services that offer free counselling.

However, there may be ways that you can access anger-management help with little or no cost. Much depends on your circumstances and where in the world you reside (see my article on getting the best relationship advice). link

The best way to get anger management therapy near you is to access it online.

Online anger management therapy

To discover how online therapy works, hop over to my page on mental health counselling.

(Just in case… mental health counselling does not mean you’re ‘mental’. It should really be called emotional health counselling!)

Finally

Deciding to seek anger management counselling is a really positive and important first step. I commend you for actively looking for ways to deal with your anger issues.

Get cracking today. You’ll feel so much better for taking action now.

You’ve got this!