get better in bed Sex Tips For Men #11
Self-Esteem: The Hottest Aphrodisiac
Genuine self-confidence is the sexiest… of ALL the sexy attributes that women look for in a man.
Sexier than 6 packs, sexier than pretty boy looks or bad boy swagger.
If you’re walking around with low self-esteem no amount of smooth lines, Calvin Klein cologne, or cheeky smiles is going to attract the woman of your dreams.
She will smell the inauthenticity.
Some say that the attainment of self-confidence arises from proving competence to yourself – acquiring a series of wins. There is certainly truth in that. But it’s not the whole story.
In my book, true confidence can only stem from self-love. This is accessible to anyone, irrespective of competence or so-called ‘success’.
This is a confidence that comes from the inside out and shines out of you as an expression of carefree realness. It’s refreshing and it calls forth trust and yes, attraction.
Haven’t you noticed that you are at your most charismatic when you don’t really care what anyone thinks of you?
Yeah, like two minutes before she walked in the room. You were funny and intelligently compelling.
Then she appeared and you constrain yourself, worried that something dumb will escape your lips.
So let me break it down to get you started on your genuine confidence quest:
1. Bring your shames into the light:
Pay close attention to everything you:
Hide from others
Reject about yourself
Think you should or shouldn’t be saying, doing, or thinking
Haven’t forgiven yourself for
This is the stuff that is holding you back.
2. Make a point of embracing each one of your shames:
You are who you are. You’ve done what you’ve done. And if you are anything like 100% of the population you’ll probably make a ‘mistake’ again tomorrow.
When you embrace your shames you have nothing to hide. The need to contain yourself tightly and cautiously leaves you, and you are free to be your true self.
For extra points get out and be vulnerable – share your shames with others, then you know you’re really making headway.
3. Set strong, self-loving boundaries:
Confident people don’t apologise for having standards for what they will and will not allow into their lives.
These standards honour their needs and heartfelt desires.
4. Drop the ‘take it like a man’ , ‘be the man’, show up ‘like a man’ attitude:
A genuinely confident man has nothing to prove.
If you want to cry, then cry.
If it’s funny, have a laugh.
If the music makes you want to dance, go for it.
Notice all the rules you have about how a man should be and challenge yourself to move beyond them.
What if you had permission to express your power, your dynamism, your sexuality, and your vulnerability?
No matter who you are, I don’t think there’s anyone out there that wouldn’t benefit from a self-confidence overhaul.
And yeah, women will feel it. Maybe they’ll say “There’s something different about you, did you get a hair cut? Loose some weight? You look great!”
And if they don’t, it doesn’t really matter as you’ll be having too much fun being you.