Have you ever noticed someone who couldn’t take his eyes off you on the first date? Or someone who constantly smiled whenever they met you? Or someone who appears nervous or self-conscious when they see you? Well, there’s a sure-shot chance that the person in question might actually like you a lot. As humans, we are wired to display some tell-tale signs when we are genuinely interested in someone. So, what are these psychological signs someone likes you?
Interestingly, A Rutgers study once proved that lust, attraction, and attachment are the three basic components of romantic love. And all of these components are primarily driven by physiological elements (that is, hormones). And all of these also give rise to a whole lot of visible signs. But if someone likes you, it may not necessarily mean they wish to initiate a romantic relationship. Nonetheless, there will be some psychological sign to indicate their liking.
In this article, we will try and explore some obvious signs that a person may have more than a passing interest in you. These common signs include body language, physical contact, communication patterns, or behavior, and some of them may baffle you. With the help of our expert psychologist Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couples counseling, we will help you unearth some of these glaring signs that someone likes you a lot. So, without much ado, let’s dive in…
What Are The Psychological Signs Someone Likes You
Nandita says, “When a guy or a girl likes you, as in they are genuinely interested, and not just for a casual fling, they are bound to display some obvious signs that will be hard to miss. As humans, we tend to subconsciously show certain patterns that are linked to our psychological connection with someone we like romantically, or otherwise.”
But there isn’t an exhaustive list of such signs, as it varies from person to person. A Reddit user explains it precisely while describing her experience, “It’s slightly different for every guy I’ve met but they tend to get a slightly louder and clearer voice when talking. Also they just want to spend time with you. Even if it’s something they have never done and are not used to doing. (I.e. going to crowded or noisy places together) to do what you want.”
And we agree with her. A strong indicator that someone likes you is that they will go out of their way to express their feelings and let you know that they fancy you as a romantic interest. But some subtle signs become the only markers of one’s interest when someone is too shy to reveal they like you. Nonetheless, you need to look out for some top signs that prove someone is into you. So, below, we have listed 21 such sure-shot psychological signs that someone is starting to like you:
Related Reading: 11 Texting Habits That He Is Interested In You – With Examples
1. You top their priority list
One of the psychological signs of a crush is that they will always prioritize the object of their romantic attraction. Nandita says, “If a girl or a guy likes you, they will put you on top of their priority list, in spite of a busy schedule.” In such cases, they will:
- Invest time in connecting with you, be it through phone calls or texts
- Be there for you when you need to vent or grieve, be it after a job loss or the death of a close connection
- Help you out in times of distress or trouble, for instance, when you’re sick
2. They subconsciously mirror you
A clear sign that a person is genuinely interested is when they subconsciously mirror you or adopt your ways of living or other details about you. This may not always mean they wish to start a romantic relationship, but may be a huge sign that they are fond of you.
In such cases, they might start mirroring:
- Your posture or gestures: If a guy starts tilting his head just like you, or starts walking the way you do, it’s possible he’s attracted to you
- Your interests: If a girl starts watching a series you like or experiments a new cuisine you love, it’s likely she’s interested in you
- Your hobbies: If a guy picks up badminton because you like it or starts taking piano lessons because you love piano, it’s likely he’s genuinely attracted to you
- Your way of speaking: If a girl mirrors your tone or includes some words that you use often in her vocabulary, it’s possible she’s interested
Related Reading: Romantic Texting: The 11 Tips To Swear By (With Examples)
I once knew a coworker who would use certain peculiar words in our meetings. So, he had picked up the habit of using the word “delusional” and used it so often during our presentations, that it almost irked us. After a few days, it was “thingie” and this too was overdone.
We realized that he had picked these words up from his girlfriend when we met her at an office party and she used the exact same words while interacting with us. So, he had subconsciously mirrored his girlfriend’s vocabulary. Weird, right?
3. They make efforts to be with you
A strong indicator or psychological sign that a person likes you is that they will try to be with you at all costs. Nandita says, “A clear psychological sign that a girl or a guy likes you is when they make a lot of effort to meet you or spend time with you, and it’s a conscious determined effort on their part.”
In such cases, they might schedule time just to catch up over coffee or meet you even if there’s a group of friends involved.
Research suggests we are genuinely attracted to like-minded people with whom we share a common ground, in the long run. This actually negates the adage that opposites attract and stresses on the importance of shared interests. In my personal experience, whenever I have dated men with opposing interests, I have ended up in bickering and bitter short-term relationships with them. For instance, I was attracted to a ‘bad guy’ in my high school days. The guy was a DJ and loved the fast life, while I was into mushy novels and old-school romance.
While we did hit it off initially, because of the novelty factor of our clashing interests, the connection faded away soon, as we realized some level of a common ground in terms of interests is necessary to maintain a romantic relationship. This is perhaps human psychology. While we did focus on a few shared interests, such as movies and music, we later realized we didn’t have anything else in common, and that was a major hindrance
In fact, if we keep a close watch on the people who try to impress us on the first date itself, we might find they often use phrases such as “Hey, I love that too!” This may extend to:
- Values, such as monogamy
- Religious or spiritual beliefs
- Hobbies and interests, such as music, sports, or books
Related Reading: How To Get Your Crush To Like You – 15 Helpful Tips
5. They maintain direct and intense eye contact
Nandita explains, “When a person is genuinely interested in you, they maintain longer and intense eye contact with you than they do with most people. The gaze, in such cases, will be deeper and more intriguing, but definitely not one that will make you feel uncomfortable. They would want their eyes to do the talking and show their expressions. They would be found smiling through their eyes or trying to show their emotions.”
And it’s true, how many times have you seen your lover stare right into your eyes when you two talk? Direct and intense eye contact is one of the most significant psychological signs that someone is interested in you. A Reddit user agrees while sharing her experience, “A definite tell is when you catch ’em staring at you a lot. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean they like you romantically, but it does mean they’re interested.”
6. They keep the conversation going
One sureshot sign someone likes you is they will actively text you or call you and mostly continue doing so persistently. It’s also possible that they will continue texting throughout the day or keep the conversation going by adding silly or irrelevant topics.
For instance, they might ask you if you’re watching a series and go on about it even if you say you aren’t. Or they may ask you random and inane details of your day.
7. They remember little details about you
One of the signs someone likes you romantically is that they remember almost everything you told them about you. Nandita says, “When someone has a genuine interest in you, they often remember all the small details you have shared with them, no matter how long ago. And this is a huge psychological sign and a strong indicator of their interest.
“They may even sometimes act upon those details. This is a sure-shot and clear sign that someone is genuinely interested in you and cares deeply about you.”
So, in such cases they might:
- Gift you a book on travel because you once mentioned you love reading travelogues
- Cook you a surprise Chinese dinner because you had once mentioned casually that you love Chinese food
But if a person genuinely likes you they will not creep you out or make you feel uncomfortable by love bombing.
8. They take a deep breath when they meet you
One of the subtle signs someone likes you is when they take a deep breath the moment they meet you. This is especially true of men. According to Patti Wood, the author of Success Signals: A Guide to Reading Body Language, men often subconsciously try to make their upper bodies seem bigger and their lower bodies look smaller when they meet the object of their romantic attraction. This apparently makes them look fitter and more attractive. This is also one of the common signs that a guy likes you.
9. They pay close attention to you
Nandita says, “One prominent and clear sign that a girl or a guy likes you is that they would love to listen to you and not just hear you. In such cases, they will pay close attention whenever they talk to you.”
Some instances are:
- They wouldn’t look at their phones or even answer phone calls when they talk to you
- They would switch off the TV just to listen to your concerns
- They would stop what they were doing to make your conversation a priority and invest time in discussions
10. They keep their hands visible
One of the psychological signs someone likes you without talking is that they might keep their hands visible. According to Shamyra Howard, the author of Use Your Mouth, a guy or a girl likes you if they show their hands while in front of you (whether they are or not talking to you).
This is an instance of open body language and shows that they are comfortable with you. So, you might never find them keeping their hands in their pockets or behind them.
Related Reading: Know How Much He Loves You Through His Body Language
11. They try to be physically close to you
One of the psychological signs someone likes you is that they will lean toward you. This means, their feet and body will face you most of the time you two interact. This is one of the subtle signs and is known as open body posture. Nandita explains, “The need to be physically close or initiate physical contact is high in most people who admire you or like you romantically. In such cases, they would wish to spend more time together and reduce the general distance.”
What is to be noted in such cases is that physical contact or intimacy is not a priority. They would want to be as close as allowed and would not make you feel uncomfortable. They could just initiate small, casual physical touches.
A Reddit user explains his experience: “For me(M22), you literally have to tell me or do something super obvious for me to know. Once I met up with a friend I haven’t seen in about a year, and at the end of the night she gave me this long, kind of awkward hug.” This guy then tells us how he needed that hug to know that she was interested in him.
12. Dilated pupils and fidgety lips
One of the subconscious signs someone likes you is when their pupils get large. A study has proved that the love hormone oxytocin causes one’s pupils to dilate significantly. So, it’s a scientific fact that if someone likes you a lot for them to release the positive hormone oxytocin, you will find them staring at you wide-eyed, quite literally, as their pupils will be dilated.
Likewise, one of the other clear signs someone likes you is when their lips become fidgety. And we’re not kidding. One of the psychological signs someone likes you is that their lip activity increases. So, you might find them pressing, licking, or touching their lips often.
In fact, you can add ‘trembling lips’ to this list, but that can probably also be one of the signs someone likes you but is scared. It could also indicate that they probably are nervous around you or feel insecure or self-conscious.
I once had a male friend who loved sharing childhood memories and anecdotes that he didn’t usually share with anyone else. I realized later, when he confessed that he fancied me, that this was one of the obvious signs that he liked me a lot. Nandita says, “Once someone starts liking you, they are likely to share intimate details about themselves that they don’t share with others. This can have multiple reasons:
Related Reading: 9 Expert Tips To Stimulate Vulnerability In A Relationship
- They might do this to show you they trust you more than others
- It might be an effort on their part to get you closer to you
A Quora user says, “If someone opens up to you about his dark side, is honest about how he sees life and talks to you in a polite manner which is unlike him, he is so into you that you can’t even comprehend.”
14. They will ask for your advice
One of the obvious signs someone is interested in you and likes you is that they are likely to ask you for advice on various topics. For instance, they may ask you for your review of a book or a movie or for general life advice.
This shows that they probably hold your advice in high regard and consider you important enough to be consulted before taking a decision. This naturally translates to the fact that they are genuinely interested in you.
15. They will ask you about your life
One of the signs someone is starting to like you is that they start asking you open-ended questions. Nandita explains, “In most cases, when a person likes you, they will simply love to know more about you. In fact, this is a huge sign that they have developed an interest.
“So, they will initiate conversations to help them get to know you better as a person. They will also take a general interest in what’s going on in your life.”
16. They make you feel special
This is one of the obvious psychological signs someone likes you. The person who likes you will most definitely make you feel special. So, you might see them:
- Sending you sweet nothings as “good morning texts” or playful, flirty texts
- Treating you in a special manner when out with a group of friends
- Showering you with gifts
- Liking all your photos on social media or commenting on them
- Making you feel heard and seen, with compliments or in some other little ways
Related Reading: 51 Beautiful Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Feel Special
17. They accept you but motivate you to do better
Nandita believes, “When a person likes you a lot, they will accept you the way you are. They are, in such cases, likely to ignore your flaws and look at your positives.”
While this is true, this does not mean a person who likes you will end up overlooking your flaws in the long run. They might notice your potential and even ask you to work on yourself and improve. For instance, they might tell you you’re great at your job but need to upskill to get a promotion. Or they might teach you skills you have little knowledge of, such as cooking or driving.
18. They support your goals
When a person likes you, they will make a conscious effort to support your goals. So, you will find them beside you either physically or emotionally whenever you achieve something great or are about to.
Some instances are:
- They will make active efforts in helping you achieve your goals, such as helping you with notes when you need to clear an important exam
- They will try and be present at important life events, such as an award function where you’re being felicitated
- They will not complain when making amends for you, such as putting off meeting you when you need to attend an important work presentation
19. They will invest in grooming
One common behavior that you can expect when someone likes you is that they will groom themselves to look their best and smell good when they are with you. In fact, this is a huge sign that the person admires you. So, the person in question is most likely to invest in good clothes, fancy toiletry products, and personal hygiene products, just to be noticed by you.
20. Their behavior changes when they’re around you
So, this one is an obvious sign someone likes you. You see, if people wish to impress you, they can go to extremes to get your attention. And sometimes, this may be unintentional. So, the person may or may not be aware that their behavior changes when they’re around you.
- They may start talking in a more sophisticated accent when they’re with you than when they’re with their friends
- The tone of their voice may change when they’re with you
- They may become more playful or more serious when you’re around
Related Reading: 18 Female Body Language Signs Of Attraction — Decoded Here
21. They smile… a lot
One of the common signs a guy or a girl likes you is when they start smiling or blushing when they’re with you, not all the time, but maybe occasionally and quite frequently. This may not always mean they wish to start a romantic relationship but they may be just starting to develop a crush.
A BBC article states that there are 19 types of smiles. And of all of these only 6 are related to happiness, while the rest are associated with various other types of emotions, such as fear, contempt, and embarrassment. There are also fake smiles and flirtatious smiles. And a toothy smile that shows they are self-conscious or nervous or that they feel insecure. But the best smile is when someone is smiling the happy smile, also known as the ‘felt’ or ‘Duchenne’ smile. It’s when a person is extremely happy and has real feelings of pleasure. So, when someone likes you, it is likely that they showcase a prominent ‘Duchenne’ smile.
We hope we’ve provided a basic gist of the psychological signs someone likes you or harbors a romantic attraction toward you. If you’re still wondering how to know someone likes you secretly, take a good look at their behavior and find out if they’re showing any of these signs. Now, the ‘liking’ may not be that romantic yet, but it’s definitely a huge sign that they may have developed a crush or may have been admiring you for a while.
Remember, there can be a whole bunch of other signs that someone is interested in you. Some prefer to give subtle hints, while others may go the obvious way and tell you they like you directly, reach out to you through your friends, or send your flirty DMs. But at the end of the day, it’s you who has to decide whether to respond to these signs or let time take its course.