It hurts to notice the man you love slipping away.
It’s natural to want to hold on to him, to try to preserve what you guys had together.
But at the same time, you don’t want to be so blind that you cling onto him when he’s already done with the relationship.
Save your dignity and be aware of where he’s at. You’ll take much better steps from this place.
How Do You Know When A Man Is Done With The Relationship?
He may not tell you he’s done directly. After all, he may feel some guilt about breaking up with you.
Enough that he’s not ready to actually break up with you yet.
He may also quietly try to hold onto the relationship due to some internal rules he has.
For example, that he has to keep taking care of you or being available for you to some extent, or else he’s a bad guy.
But you’ll also be able to notice some signs the relationship is over for him. Most of all, you’ll feel it in your gut.
His mind may think he has to act a certain way, but his body will tell you the story in subtle ways.
Let’s look at the signs the relationship is over for him to help you work out where he’s at.
Would you like to know for sure if he has the potential to commit to you in the future? You can find out whether he is commitment-friendly with our quick and easy quiz:
#1: He Blocks You On Social Media
This is an obvious sign he’s done with the relationship.
Even if you live together still, or you see each other every day, if he blocks you, that’s not a good sign.
In fact, it’s a warning sign. A man who wants to be with you will enjoy you seeing what he posts, and he’ll be transparent about what he’s posting.
He won’t want to hide information from you.
Also, if he’s blocking you, it might also mean that he hates you so much that he wants to punish you. Which brings us to the next of the important signs the relationship is over for him.
#2: He Hates Your Guts And Then Some
….He despises you. And somehow, you know in your gut that he would enjoy seeing you suffer.
They say that the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.
And yes, if a man is indifferent towards you, that means he doesn’t care, and that could also be a sure sign the relationship is over for him.
But the kind of hate I’m talking about is the hate that means he wants to see you suffer.
Sometimes it gets to that point in a relationship, sadly.
Perhaps you hurt him or betrayed him.
Perhaps it’s just the fact that you took so much value from him and he tolerated it for so long, but he can’t take it any more.
Maybe you guys had a toxic relationship that went on too long, and now he hates you and anything that reminds him of the hard times.
Either way, if you feel him hating your guts, breathe in the hate. Feel what he feels, and let it remind you that the relationship is over for him.
Try your best not to stay in denial of how he feels. You’ll only prolong the time it takes to get over him.
If you want one final test to see if he still cares, I recommend you say these two specific words to him:
#3: There Are No Signs Of Jealousy
If a man values you, if he cherishes your soul, he will seethe with jealousy over any sign that you’re giving another man your sexual energy or feminine energy.
He may also feel jealous at the thought that you might move on with or sleep with another man.
Even if the relationship is breaking down.
Now, this is a difficult one because some men are really good guys and they know when they feel jealous, but they don’t want to burden anyone with their jealousy.
hard to believe, because men feel jealousy so intensely over a woman they love.
But you’ll see it in his body language. You’ll see his shoulders tensing up, his face looking more serious, his mouth tightening.
You’ll sense some level of aggression and anger in him at the thought of you being sexual with another man.
However, if a man is showing no signs of jealousy, that definitely means he’s done with the relationship.
Even more so if you notice that he actively tries to set you up with someone else, or encourages you to get together with another man.
#4: He No Longer Initiates Sex
This is a tricky one because men could stop initiating sex for many reasons. So this isn’t always one of the definite signs the relationship is over for him.
But when this sign occurs along with many of the other signs on this list (say 5 or more), then it could mean it’s over for him.
If your guy used to initiate sex but is no longer interested in initiating anything (and this has been going on for months), it may mean he doesn’t really want to be with you anymore.
#5: You Notice That He Sighs Around You… A Lot
This will occur in two scenarios.
The first one is you may notice that he sighs a lot when you guys finish talking or when you leave a room.
This is because he’s relieved the interaction is over or relieved that he no longer has to talk to you.
The second scenario is that you may notice he’s sighing a lot when he is around you.
Sighing is our body’s way of communicating a certain feeling to those around us and to ourselves.
It can mean we are feeling:
- Anxious
- Stressed
- Sad
- Exhausted; or
- Relieved
Often when we are being relieved of a burden, we may let out a sigh.
Other times, if we are experiencing chronic stress around a partner, we will sigh a lot because it’s our body’s way of relieving itself from the constant stress.
If you notice your man sighing a lot more whenever you talk to him or are physically in his presence, that could be a sign that he can’t physically cope with being around you.
It could also mean that he needs a break from you.
Don’t forget that if you notice him obviously sighing with relief whenever you finish saying something to him, he might be feeling comforted that the interaction is over.
#6: He Doesn’t Argue With You Anymore
The fact is this:
If a man wants to own you, if he wants to keep you as his very own, he will argue for as long as he needs to in order to make you see things in a different way.
…Especially if he’s trying to:
- Contribute to your life
- Help you see the truth about something; or
- Soften your stubborn and dogmatic stance on something
As you can probably tell, I’m not talking about a man arguing over nothing or picking fights with you here.
I’m talking about the types of arguments couples get into inside of a healthy relationship.
These arguments aren’t meant to make your partner suffer more, but rather:
- Increase your mutual understanding of something
- Work out an important problem about something (or someone) who is important to you both
- Get to a deeper understanding of each other; or
- Simply work something out between you
If he no longer cares to enter those arguments, it’s not always because he’s doing something good for the relationship.
It may be because he doesn’t want to spend any energy on you and on the relationship anymore.
Of course, in some relationships, the woman wears the pants. Which means a man may have given up trying to provide you with his masculine direction (won’t bother arguing or trying to influence you).
If you’ve never really been in your feminine energy with him and he’s always been more passive (less masculine) thus letting you dominate, then he may never have argued that much with you anyway.
These types of relationships aren’t very fulfilling for the masculine men of the world anyway, and they will envy the men with a submissive wife/girlfriend.
If you’re in this type of relationship and you know your man is masculine at his core and would prefer to take the reigns, then it’s likely that at some point he will end the relationship.
If you’re in this situation you can always access more of your feminine energy and offer him that energy. He might fall in love with you again.
Would you like to find out how naturally feminine you are at your core? You can do that with our free quiz:
#7: He Avoids All Communication
If a man is done with the relationship, he’ll likely avoid all avenues of communication with you.
He won’t want to talk on the phone, text you, message you on social, comment on your stories and posts, or speak with you in person.
Worse still, if you walk towards him in person and you see him run the other way, that should be ringing alarm bells.
Unless you guys are playing tag.
If you see this sign, ask yourself what he’s trying to tell you. Give yourself the gift of the honest answer.
Sometimes it could be that he’s pulling away temporarily, but if this goes on for months, then your relationship is most likely on the out.
#8: He Stopped Being Careful With Your Things
…Or even went out of his way to break your stuff.
Geez, dude. Relax, take a chill pill.
Or maybe just grow up?
Anyway, if a guy is not being careful with your things or is actively breaking your belongings, he’s either seeing red or he’s completely and utterly done with you.
No need to make excuses for him. If he disrespects you that much that he’s willing to break your stuff, then you need to take heed.
Right now he might just be communicating that he hates you, disrespects you or wants to get revenge.
But who knows, his next target might not be your belongings. It might be you.
Be careful.
#9: He is No Longer Attached to You
When a man is detached from you, there’s literally no hope of having a long term relationship with him.
What are the signs he is detached from you?
He doesn’t care. That’s the biggest sign.
Specifically, he doesn’t care about how you feel at all. Not even when something serious happens to you outside of the relationship.
Related reading:
#10: He Keeps Spending Time With Your Mutual Friends
…But stops inviting you to tag along.
This is very hurtful. But it’s also one of the warning signs that he’s moving on.
If you used to spend time with each other’s friends and invite each other along but he no longer does that, it may be his way of telling you he’s on the way out.
He could also just stop inviting you along because he feels like you don’t respect his friends or enjoy spending time around them, of course.
So try not to jump to conclusions on this one.
#11: He Stopped Spending Money On You
If a guy loves you, he’ll enjoy spending money on you.
He’ll want to treat you to things and experiences. He’ll want to put a smile on your face.
He doesn’t have to spend a lot, but he likes to treat you and see you happy.
But if he used to spend money on you and suddenly doesn’t anymore, he might be feeling like things are over.
He could also just be feeling defeated, like nothing he does could ever make you happy.
So use discernment here. Stay attuned and try to feel what he’s feeling.
#12: He Doesn’t Respond to Your Flirty Signals
If you are still trying to flirt with him and build attraction but he has stopped responding to your attempts (or shuts them down completely), he’s telling you something.
Simply put, he’s telling you that he doesn’t want to engage with you or that he’s no longer attracted to you.
Sometimes guys do this when they’re busy.
But if you’ve noticed that this is becoming a pattern, it’s a clear sign he wants to keep his distance from you and shut down the sexual part of the relationship.
#13: He Doesn’t Banter With You Anymore
Not every couple has the habit of bantering with each other.
But any relationship with two securely attached people in it will likely have included some banter.
Banter builds emotional attraction and brings a lot of novelty and enjoyment into a relationship.
If you try to banter with him, send a playful text or a banter line to him and he seems to ignore it every time, the cold hard truth is that he might be feeling done with the relationship.
#14: He Lies To You A Lot
In a failing relationship, you’ll often see partners who lie to each other.
If you’ve remained truthful to him but he’s been lying to you, it could be because he’s lost respect and care for the relationship.
Quite simply, he doesn’t want to make it work nor invest in it.
On the other hand, if you’ve caught your guy out lying many times before, then it may just be him running the same old pattern that he always has.
If he lies about cheating on you or seeing someone else, beware. Even though he’s staying in your life, it doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t actually over already.
Related Reading: Gut Feeling He’s Cheating, No Proof? 15 Sure Signs He Is Cheating.
Sometimes, men will keep you around even when they’re secretly moving on with someone else, or trying to get the attention of another woman.
Why?
Sex.
And to keep you as a backup option.
#15: He is No Longer Interested In Remembering Significant Dates
I don’t mean he innocently forgets the important date one year.
I mean he literally doesn’t care to even remember it.
I mean, he’s not even trying to give the impression that he cares about remembering the important date.
Here’s what I know for sure about a man in love (because I’ve experienced it myself).
They’re romantic with you. In their own ways of course.
But they will care about the little moments and the dates that made you guys a couple.
At the very least, a man in love will care that you care about the dates.
So don’t try to make excuses for this or brush it under the carpet.
If he is nonchalant about the special dates in your relationship or even your birthday, he’s already out.
#16: He Takes A LOT of Personal Space
…So much that you never see him.
A man who’s always distant isn’t good to begin with.
So if he’s always asking for space and can’t sit with you to discuss anything or at least try to spend more time with you, he clearly isn’t showing that he values the relationship.
Whether that means he’s completely done with the relationship or not I can’t say for sure. Because lots of relationships go on like this for ages without the man actually wanting to break up.
This is especially true if you’re with an avoidant man.
An avoidant man will be emotionally unavailable a lot of the time, even if he loves you.
Whether his behavior shows you that you should break up with him or not, is up to you and how much you love him or can tolerate this behavior.
Related reading: How to Get An Avoidant to Chase You: 7 High Value Tips.
Something else to keep in mind is that if he’s always taking space or he’s never around anymore, he could be ghosting you.
If you think he might be ghosting you and you want some closure, here are the Three Most Common Reasons Why Men Ghost.
#17: Other People Are Beginning to Notice
I’ll always remember one of my girlfriends telling me after my ex cheated on me (and I didn’t yet feel ready to breakup with him) this:
“I think he stopped caring long ago.”
I’ll never forget her saying that, because it hurt so much.
It doesn’t help that I didn’t fully trust her not to want to see me suffer either (that’s another story).
But the fact is, she was telling the truth regardless.
I just wasn’t ready to hear it.
But she saw the truth, and she gave it words when I couldn’t (and wouldn’t. because I was in denial.)
But if other people you care about are beginning to make comments about him being less committed to you, perhaps it’s time to stop and question whether their statements have any truth to them.
#18: He Stops Laughing At Your Jokes
This is a red flag, because it’s a sign he’s pushing you away.
A guy who used to laugh at your jokes but now deliberately avoids laughing along with you is trying to tell you something.
Namely, that he no longer cares.
He may just be letting you down slowly.
#19: He Stopped Talking About Long-term Plans
…Or has put major long-term plans on indefinite hold without reason.
Is he making you feel left out? Or like he doesn’t want to share any future experiences with you like he used to?
He may be doing it because he doesn’t trust that you two could enjoy your time together anymore.
Or perhaps he’s doing it because he doesn’t feel like you will appreciate his efforts or ideas.
Try not to panic when you see this happening, as painful as it is to see your man seemingly exiting the relationship.
There are things you could do, but whether there’s any hope for you depends on his reasons for not including you in future plans.
See his behavior as a sign of one of the following:
- He has lost attraction for you
- He’s not invested
- Has lost trust in you and the relationship; or
- He’s tired and worn down from the relationship
If you think it’s because of one of the last two reasons, you can try to re-build trust.
You can even re-build attraction. Not just physical attraction, but emotional attraction.
Because if all you guys have is physical attraction, that’s a thin piece of string for your relationship to hang by.
It’s not going to be enough to reignite the spark of romantic love that will bind him to you.
#20: He’s Found A New Girlfriend
If this happens, it’s a bad sign. It means he doesn’t care about hurting you and he’s moving on.
I know some ladies reading this will still be tempted to hold on to a man they love, even if he’s found someone else.
No one wants to lose someone they really love.
But you have to act according to what is.
Sure, take your time grieving. Then when you’re ready, see it for what it is.
#21: He’s Always Crtiticizing You
If your previously doting man has become excessively critical of you, the relationship is definitely in trouble.
In fact, according to research done by Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, criticism is one of the four horsemen and can predict the end of a relationship.
Criticism alone won’t spell the end of your relationship with him, but it can pave the way for the other three horsemen to build in your relationship and create a toxic death spiral.
Criticism can also just be a tool of someone who is insecurely attached. Avoidants and anxiously attached people may criticise a lot in order to avoid intimacy and create distance.
This is not an excuse for the behavior, but rather another possibility to consider.
The more you know, the more equipped you are to deal with a problem in your relationship.
But consider that if you’re overwhelmed with critical comments daily from him, that’s a sign he’s pushing hard for the relationship to end.
#22: You Are Also Losing Interest In The Relationship
The last of the signs the relationship is over for him is when you find yourself losing your desire to keep the relationship afloat.
If a man is losing interest permanently, then it goes without saying that you will eventually lose interest too – eventually.
If you’re currently experiencing this, then you really have to consider whether it’s worth the cost in your time to hang onto this guy.
Red Flags That a Relationship Is About To End
Here’s the number one red flag that will immediately tell you that your man is leaving for good:
When he falls in love with another woman.
Related: What Makes A Man Leave His Wife For Another Woman?
When a man truly falls in love with someone else, he will not be emotionally committed to you.
He will prioritise the woman he’s in love with indefinitely.
A man always places the women he dates in one of two baskets:
- The one and only basket (where no woman could ever compare, because he’s madly in love with her and will give her everything – forever.)
- The one of many basket.
If your man has fallen in love with another woman (I’m not talking about infatuation, I’m talking about romantic love here, which forms the glue for a long term pair bond), then she will automatically be his ‘one and only’.
You simply cannot compete with the one and only.
But what you can do is make sure you’re the one and only to any future man you meet, because this is the ultimate insurance that he will emotionally commit forever.
If you want to learn how to become any man’s one and only and have him beg you for a commitment, see my course “Becoming His One And Only.”
The promise of this course is for you to have your chosen man fall in love with you & beg you to be his one & only by embodying these 5 feminine secrets, even if he’s been distant, avoidant, or losing interest…
Typical Phases of a Relationship Breakdown
There are 4 typical stages of relationship breakdown.
According to research, these 4 stages are:
Stage #1: Uncontrollable conflicts and complaints
When the fights are constant and you can’t get away from them, or when one partner is constantly bombarding the other with complaints, it breaks down feelings of attraction and connection.
Stage #2: One or both of you start to feel contempt.
Contempt follows on from the unmanageable conflicts and complaints.
The positive associations with each other are now overriding the negative associations.
Stage #3: Increasingly defensive behaviors
…Fuelled by the second stage where there’s a lot of contempt and each partner’s view of the other changes for the worst.
Stage #4: Basic trust erodes and both partners lose trust.
This leads to both spouses avoiding each other and becoming increasingly focused on self protection.
Neither of you want to deal with the conflicts anymore.
How To Know if it’s a Temporary Breakup or Permanent
Say you’ve deduced from the above signs that your relationship is on the out, but you’re thinking there’s a chance it might be a temporary breakup.
These signs can help you be sure that it is temporary and he’ll be back one day. The more of these you see, the more sure you can be:
- He’s connected to your emotions
- He wants to take care of you
- He doesn’t think anyone else will be able to take care of you as well as he can
- He keeps a part of you with him (an item of yours for example)
- He often asks mutual friends about you
- He answers your calls and text immediately
MORE: 7 Crucial Stages of Getting Back Together With An Ex.
What You Should Do Now
It’s never easy detaching from a man, especially if you still love him.
But if he’s already detached from you and you can see that clearly because he exhibits a lot of the signs above, then you should start the process of moving on.
Let yourself grieve, don’t resist it. It hurts, it’s inconvenient and you wish things were different, but this is how they are.
The faster you can adjust to the reality, the more time you have to spend with the right man in the future.
Also, I know you’re in pain right now. It’s normal to find yourself anxious and like your self esteem has taken a hit from the breakdown of your relationship.
If you want to rebuild your high value and self esteem, I can recommend our program “High Value Mindsets”.
(The promise of this program is to give you the ability to “trade in” your anxiety and insecurities for self esteem, self worth and intrinsic confidence, so that no one will ever take you for granted & high value men will recognise you as an indispensable “keeper”.)
Wishing you all the love in the world.
If you want to vent, that’s what my comments section is for. If you need to let things out, then leave a comment below to vent and let yourself begin the healing process.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.
