Wednesday, June 14, 2023


The feeling of heartbreak comes when we lose someone we love very much like a romantic relationship or when we get betrayed by someone, we least expected.

Heartbreak hurt so much because we practically put our hearts in the hands of someone we thought will treasure keeping it safe, and when that heart gets crushed, the pain is unbearable.

It’s a time where you feel restless, emotionally dizzy and can hardly make any meaningful decision. I have been there and it hurt deeply!

You see! Even as the experience is painful; it becomes dangerous for you if you stay longer in it than expected.

I know it’s painful,

I know it’s unbearable,

I know you love the person so dearly,

And I know it’s a sad experience to see the person you love so much slide off your hands, but building your tenth in that experience will do much more harm to you than the heartbreak itself.

Certain negative traits may develop in you when you continue to brood over the pains because it will deepen the wound and make it almost impossible for you to overcome the experience.

Below are the 7 things that may happen to you if you hold on to the pains.

1. Feeling irritated by the opposite sex:

Have you come across anyone who just gets irritated by the opposite sex?

They simply don’t like being touched by the opposite sex.

Everything about the opposite sex just irritates them for no reason, and you ask yourself why? 

I used to know a lady who gets frightens and irritated whenever a guy comes around.

If you try to play with her or try holding her just to get her attention, her response will make you feel you have done something wrong.

I sincerely used to feel bad until I understood why😊! And the reason she felt irritated by the male folks was because of emotional pain.

When you dwell in that emotional pain for too long, brooding over it, your body may absorb hatred towards the opposite sex. Doing that may create a false impression in your mind that the opposite sex is bad.

And even when you begin a new relationship, you may likely get irritated by the person you are dating.

You might wonder why nothing about the opposite sex excite you, and why you are always in a hurry to canter anything coming from them. But if you are sincere to yourself, you will notice you are indirectly manifesting the hurt of the past.

Recently, I was opportune to counsel a lady who just experienced a broken relationship, and during the discussion, she said she’s feeling irritated by the male folks.

And during the discussion, I noticed she has spent so much time thinking about the relationship, her time spent in the relationship, and the sacrifices. Most times she ends up crying at night.

All these have created a resentful attitude in her towards the male folks.

Because of the regrets developed because of the heartbreak, you may likely start feeling irritated by the opposite sex, blaming them for the hurt.

2. Self withdrawn and Isolated:

Have you seen someone who takes pleasure in being alone and Isolated? If you haven’t seen, I have.

One common thing that usually happens to a heartbroken person, is that you just want to be alone, isolating yourself from the crowd for safety and comfort.

Even though the feeling of being alone is common during heartbreak, some persons stay longer than expected in it.

You may find yourself always withdrawn and Isolated if you are always thinking of the pains you experienced because of the broken relationship.

The fear and feeling of getting hurt might stir up in you, and that may lead you to take solace in the dark, depriving you of the opportunity of moving on.

Such isn’t good for you because it might cause you to develop an inferiority complex trait.

3. Feeling inadequate to start a new relationship:

Do you see clearly in the dark?

Can you make a moral decision when confused?

Clearly, your answer will be a no!

As long as you take solace in the dark, thinking of the broken relationship you cherished so much, you are indirectly also stopping yourself from moving on.

It will unconsciously kill your interest to start a new relationship.

Some persons are confused about starting a new relationship because they feel in their heart that if they start a new one, it will end just the way the previous one did.

4. Addiction:-

This experience if not well manage can create different addictions in you.

A guy got heartbroken by a lady he had sacrificed so much on, that even staying alone in his house frightened him.

He frequently went to a bar close to his house to have a sip of alcohol to distract his mind from the pains, and soon he got addicted to drinking. The outcome of the experience was terrible.

Also, spending time thinking of a relationship that’s already broken can lead you to a depressing state of mind.

I heard a story years ago of a lady who fell in love with a guy after much pressure from the guy.

She became so attached to the guy that she hardly does anything without his approval. Soon the guy proposed to her and guess what! She said yes. 

To cut the long story short, on the day of the wedding, the guy didn’t show up.

The lady discovered the guy came into her life because of a bet he and his friends made to see who will get the lady.

The information lead the lady into a depressant state and she kept telling herself that she has been a fool all along thinking she had found her Mr. right”.

Soon she became addicted to depression, and several times she tried taking her life, but they rescued her.

If you stay longer in that emotional state for too long, it can make you become sexually addicted as well.

If not well managed, pain can break down your emotional defence and make it almost impossible to say no to any sexual advances thrown at you.

There are lots of stories to tell you of people who became addicted to sex because of a broken relationship, but I wouldn’t want to make this article a long one.

If you have any stories to make this post more inspiring, please do well to comment on them in the comment section 😘.

5. Develop the tendency of becoming an abuser:

When your emotions are not well treated, you can gravitate into becoming an abuser.

You may come to be manipulative and controlling.

Each time I discuss or write about things like this, I love telling stories.

I know of a guy while growing up who was scared or shy of talking to ladies because he hates to be rejected by anyone most especially the ladies.

One day he saw a lady, and he got attracted to her almost instantly (you know what they say about love at first sight😄).

He started having fantasies in his mind and having serious struggles within him about approaching the lady. One day he summoned the courage to approach the lady after much teasing from his friends, and the girl accepted to be his lady.

He did almost everything the girl requested, in fact, he was crazy into the lady. Guess what! The girl left him for someone else after some time.

Being that she’s the only girl he had summoned the courage to talk to about a relationship, the outcome of the breakup wasn’t nice to him.

Strangely, we noticed our dear friend became very bold at talking to ladies and playing with their emotions, not minding if they get hurt or not. He became a playboy!

You are unconsciously putting your emotions at risk by thinking of that broken relationship beyond the way you ought to.

You see! Those who most times turn out to become players and abusers in relationships are mostly the ones who love the most in a relationship and you will hear them say they are paying the opposite sex back for the pains they experienced. This is why you need to learn to love people the way you are loved because it will help protect you from pain.

An abuser releases the tension within them on others, so they can regain the power they’ve lost emotionally by establishing control.

6. Become unstable in relationships:

Have you ever wondered why some persons can’t just stay in a relationship?

Each time you see them, they are always in a new relationship. The question that always comes to mind is WHY?

When you become so engrossed in the pains of that broken relationship, thinking of what you would have done and what you shouldn’t have done, feeling regret about everything, you are unknowingly creating unpleasant traits within you.

Unpleasant traits!

★ Trust issues: 

One trait that those who refused to let go of the pains of a broken relationship develop is trust issues.

They are constantly suspecting people around them, hoping to see lies in their deeds.

This trait makes it difficult for them to be stable in a relationship because they are always seeing lies in whatever their partner does. And once they see anything that looks like a lie, they just end the relationship.

★Develop the character of finding faults:

Emotional pains have a way of making us wants everything to be perfect, but when it becomes a habit, then it becomes terrible.

Everyone has the tendency to make mistakes but a fault finder wants everything to be perfect and even when everything is perfect, they will still see fault in what is perfect.

When they can’t see that perfection they want, they most times quit the relationship.

It’s difficult to build a sustainable relationship with someone who’s deep in fault finding because it frustrates love.

Even the bible said fault finding kills love.

So the longer time you spend thinking about the painful experience instead of letting go, you are setting yourself up for more complicated situations ahead of you.

7. Experience Marital Delay:

I deliberately made this point as the last point in the “7 things that may happen to you if you don’t let go of the pain” because the result of entering a relationship is for marriage.

We all desire to get married someday and even those who deny this desire, sincerely desire to get married. They only deny that due to frequent heartbreaks.

When you feel irritated by the opposite sex, self withdrawn and isolated, feel inadequate to start a new relationship, Develop addictions, develop the tendency of becoming an abuser and become unstable in relationships, you are indirectly denying yourself the right to be loved and the opportunity to settle down maritally.

Every heartbreak experience takes a piece of your heart.

So making yourself inaccessible, becoming harsh to the opposite sex, will make people avoid you even when their intentions are genuine. And you know what that means😊!

When people leave your life because of the harsh and strict atmosphere around you, it makes it difficult for you to settle down early maritally.

Instead of regretting spending your time in that broken relationship, give yourself the opportunity to heal.

Give yourself the opportunity to move on because that’s what you need to stay healthy. If you are yet to go through the 7 practical steps of overcoming heartbreak, please do because it will help you heal and be healthy again.

I trust God this piece of information was helpful to you, and if you have any points to add to this post, please do well to comment on them in the comment section. And also do well to follow this page below.

Thank You!

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