Thursday, August 24, 2023

9 THINGS YOU SHOULD DISCUSS WITH YOUR LOVER BEFORE GETTING MARRIED


Before going into marriage, there are significant things to discuss with your lover to make your journey easier and gain a better understanding of each other. These will pave the way for the greatness and success of your marriage.

1) Your Spouse’s Relationship With God.
Who is God in his or her life? You need to discuss this and the roles he wants God to play in his life, starting his relationship with him. If you don’t agree with this, your marriage may be turbulent if you go ahead. How sure are you that your partner doesn’t pretend to go to church just to escape your questions of why didn’t you go to church today? How sure are you that your partner is not just a churchgoer who goes to church only on Sunday just to please you? Be sure that he or she puts God first in their lives, with this, God will be made a priority at the center of your marriage which is very crucial.

2) Discuss Your Partner’s  Purpose In Life With Him Or Her. We all have purpose, goals, objectives, dreams, who we want to be in life, and how we want to be heard in society.
What is your purpose in life? What is the reason why you are on Earth? You need to know by now and it has to be discussed with your spouse before marriage and listen to him or her too. After revealing it to each other, is your spouse in support of your dream or against it?   Be convinced that it will not sprout out a challenge in the future when you are already married.

3) Make Your Values Clear To Each Other.
You need to discuss your values and set of moral beliefs.
Everyone has their own set of values. Although most values don’t differ too much. One thing to discuss before marriage is what values are most important to both of you. Then you can decide what values you will share as a family and build your family on that. Remember If you bring up your children in two different directions of life, it is going to negatively affect their social lives and that will be a disaster for your family and society at large.

4) Do You Both Believe Or Have The Same Vision?
Does he know what your vision and goals in life are? Do you know him? If you are career-minded and plan to put all you have into work for the next six years so you can get a certain promotion or make a certain amount of money in life, he or she needs to know about these. Share your vision about the future, finances, and your children before you get married. 

A married couple after 5 years of marriage got divorced because of children’s issues. The man does not want to have children meanwhile the woman desperately needs children and not that any of them is not medically okay. For failing to discuss this at the right time, they got divorced.

5) Does Your Partner Keep Secrets From You?
There is no better time to share these intimate and secret things than now. As you look ahead to marriage, share family secrets and challenges. Don’t keep your partner in the dark about your family issues. He or she should marry you for your liabilities and assets if he or she truly loves you. Discuss personal choices, health challenges, problems, mental health concerns, debts, past relationships, and addictions, if any.

This is the time to share things big and small, paving the way for honesty, transparency, and openness as the foundation of your marriage. Secrecy destroys marriage no matter how deeply he or she loves you. If you have any child out of wedlock, or you removed a fetus and later had issues with your womb, now is the best time to open up. Hiding it will only endanger your love for each other. The secrets will one day be open and that’s going to be at the wrong time then the marriage you have built for so many years will be history.

6) Your Career Should Not Be Left Out.
You need to talk about your career, educating each other about its demands, challenges, and the importance of it to the marriage. The reasons it should be taken care of, and the benefits of it to the marriage in the next few years. Remember if resources will be a challenge for you guys, it can be suspended but if not, it should be considered, and also if there is an alternative for it, which can be of immense benefit to you guys, it has to be discussed as well.

If owing a supermarket is better than furthering your education or learning how to become a fashion designer is better than owning a food canteen is all something that needs discussion, focus, and agreement to go into by the both of you, just for you not to start blaming one another after some years into the marriage.

7) Discuss each other’s lifestyles.
Your spouse may love night club but you don’t or he or she likes drinking beer while you don’t. All these need to be discussed in other for it not to harbor a conflict of interest in the marriage.

8) Discuss each Other’s Hobbies. 95%/ of men like football, and are fans of different football clubs likewise some women. Allowing your hobbies to control your marriage will bring nothing more than calamity. During the time your spouse wants to enjoy his or her hobby, let that respect be given, and let that chance be given as well unless in a serious issue or life-threatening challenge such as your wife being in a labor room in a sickbed.

9) Family Financial Responsibilities need to be discussed by both of you. We all have heard that the Bible said that the “woman is a help met” to the man. This made it clear that she is a supporter, a partaker, a partner, and a shareholder in the responsibilities of the family especially the financial aspect.
The fact that the man is heard doesn’t necessarily mean that only he should shoulder the responsibilities which range from the house rent, the children’s school fees, and the feeding of the family members.

As a woman, support him where you can, and stand with him spiritually, physically, and mentally, he needs you in all these areas, and your presence will encourage him a lot to do more for you and the children. The absence of a wife in these areas is the reason why most men are easily caught up in the web of side chicks. Refuse to be defeated by another woman while you are capable of doing these things.

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