Friday, April 12, 2024

Age Play In A Minefield ⋆ Rain DeGrey

Dirty Talk Advice ColumnAge play is a frequently explored dynamic that many people enjoy. Being a good girl makes some people melt into a happy puddle of squishy bliss. There is nothing wrong with ethically and responsibly engaging in age play. When done properly, with care and consideration, it can be very deeply rewarding.

However, things become more complex when added factors such as CPTSD or landmines become part of the equation. How does one responsibly explore such a potentially loaded topic? A reader writes in wondering if they should be avoiding age play with their partner who is actively dealing with past traumatic experiences. Put on your Daddy pants or grab your favorite plushie and let’s find out!

“I am trying to figure out if it’s irresponsible for me to engage in age play with a partner who is still working on her trauma.

She’s my nesting partner and we’re in couples therapy together, so these are issues we’ve been navigating together for a long time. We have a lot of tools to deal with the landmines. DD/lg dynamics seem always to creep into our play and we’re just trying to bring more awareness to the ways it interacts with her newly diagnosed CPTSD. Is engaging in age play something we should be avoiding?”–DD/lg × CPSTD

CPTSD Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Engage In Age Play

Age Play LandminesAge play is viewed by some as tricky and more complex play. This doesn’t mean that it cannot be practiced successfully, even with a newly diagnosed case of CPTSD. Given that you are long-term nesting partners and the two of you are also engaging in couples therapy, I feel even more confident in stating this in your case. Being committed as a team to unraveling things in order to improve your relationship is huge and not something that everyone does.

Based on what you are telling me you come across as both thoughtful and caring towards your partner. Due to the fact that you are working with the tools of understanding, teamwork, and therapy, a diagnosis of CPSTD does not mean that you should avoid engaging in an age play dynamic. If the both of you were not in therapy together, if you were not aware of landmines and did not come with an already existing toolkit that you keep adding to, I might have a different opinion.

Is There Is A Reason You’re Naturally Drawn To Age Play?

Daddy Daughter Age PlayThere may be a reason why age play is a dynamic the two of you keep finding yourselves drifting into. Ageplay can actually be used as an effective tool to help people safely process childhood issues. Of course, it is a tricky and complex process and when not done properly can cause even more damage. I have seen it happen. However, it might prove to be valuable in your situation.

It sounds like your partner is extremely lucky. Most people could only dream of a nesting partner so committed to their self-growth and improvement. Sadly, it is a rare partner that is willing to engage in couples therapy and address landmines as they come up. Many people struggling with CPTSD do not have someone like that in their corner. Your partner does and that truly is a treasure.

You Are Doing All The Right Things

Relationship MinesweeperShow up for your partner. Be supportive. Be an engaged teammate. You are doing all of those things already. Rather than think of age play as something that should be avoided because of a newly diagnosed case of CPTSD, think of it as a tool to help your partner get to a better place. If the two of you keep finding those dynamics creeping into your relationship, embrace them, don’t avoid them. They obviously keep popping up for a reason. Done with care and consideration, they can HELP your partner, not hinder her. Be a safe space and watch her flourish. Thank you for writing in and it sounds like your lg has a very good Daddy indeed.

Keep it Kinky My Friends,

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