“Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.” James E Faust
At a time when text, chat over social media, and email, is an acceptable options. This begs the question, have phone calls become a rarity? I don’t know the answer to that question, but I do know life is too short not to know what you want and be straight about it.
Stringing possible partners along because you shift for a week or two into (shopping them out). Checking out your options on the dating market. Making up lame excuses that you are too busy keeps them in place; a place cardholder trick. This is unfair and unhealthy for both parties. You are using the other person for your own needs.
Don’t use people.
Ghosting is the worst form of not having a voice. You block their number and act as if silence is message enough. Guess what? It is not; we humans do better with words. Karmic silence may follow you, and then you can know how painful it is with no closer. Except for (abuse), ghosting will never be ok. Step up and honor whatever you have had with words that will end it cleaner.
If you want a sexual relationship with that person, ask for it. You will be truthful, and your relationship will be clean. Friends with benefits, I have traveled that road learning it wasn’t right for me, but with honesty, it was much easier to understand. And for me to step out with self-respect being genuine to my benefit friend.
Honestly, it was fun at the beginning, but very quickly, I tried to win them over with my magical love skills, which never works, and it was an uncomfortable lesson. My mad love skills were not that special. I wrote about Benefit Friend in my book “A Man for Every Purpose, My Naked Journey Searching for Love.”
If you think that person is just friend material, say so. Nothing is worse than lopsided love; well, I am sure there are worse things, but pinning for a potential love can get you stuck in endless thoughts, and ultimately, you will not want to be friends with that person. They needed the extra infatuation that you were provided to make them feel better at your expense. Friends, not. Unless, of course, otherwise agreed upon.
If you are looking for that love connection that can lead to more such as partnership, marriage, and children, say it. Not on the first date or even at the beginning because that is too much. Like saying I love you and you just met, a very scary turn-off. When the time is right, be honest with what you want. If they are on the way to different pages, it is better to know sooner than later.
Do not use people that is unkind, unfair, and a valid sign of a weak individual; know better, do better.
My Mantra: “Speak your truth in Love. Be Brave. Find your Voice.”