Being Successfully Single Until the Right One Comes Along!
Our planet is brimming with a random lottery of people; undeniably though, finding true love can be considered a risky business.
Love is supposed to be a beautiful feeling with lots of happy thoughts emanating from the whole package of being in love, so why is finding true love is considered a difficult challenge?
Is finding love really so hard though? Or do we just make it hard? Finding love is not hard, but sometimes it takes a long time. So if you are single now, and I assume that you are, then you are likely going to be single for a while.
Here are some advantages of being single:
You are independent
Basically you can do what you want when you want. You don’t have to wait, you don’t have to ask, you can just go.
You have more time
When you’re single; you don’t have to sit around doing nothing. Want to go to the gym? Want to join the hiking club? Play an instrument? How about watch your favourite video for 10th time? Want to take a course? Learn a new hobby? Who’s stopping you?
You don’t have to deal with another’s personal habits
You can sleep without listening to someone’s snoring and hog all the blankets all the time and nobody cares. You don’t have to pick up after anyone but yourself. And you don’t even have to pick up after yourself if you don’t want to. Give your patience a well-deserved break.
You can be spontaneous
Be daring! Do what you want when you want to and who cares if you don’t get to dinner until midnight? Do something out of the ordinary, without having to get permission first or calling ahead. This is freedom!
You can focus on your career
You can channel your energy into your work. Without a relationship, you have a lot more time. Put in those extra hours and impress your boss, or take on new projects.
You are your own boss
Relationships need compromise and you don’t always get your own way. Both people in a relationship have to give something up for the greater good of the relationship. Do what you want and treat yourself more. Selfishness is good for the soul (in small doses).
That special someone is out there and you can and will find them. It just takes time. In the meantime, enjoy being single. In fact, I believe that if you can’t be happy being single, you will never be happy with your soulmate! Kind of like rich and poor.
There are lots of poor people who are happy and lots that are unhappy. Same with rich people — lots are happy and lots are unhappy. Now what do you think would happen if we took a poor who was unhappy, and gave them lots of money?
You guessed it!
They would probably be happy for a short time, but it wouldn’t last and eventually they would be just as unhappy as they were. Ever wonder why that is? Being happy comes from inside of you not outside. OK, you are single — enjoy yourself and that special person will come along before you know it!
I hope that you have found this article useful in your search. If you would like to more about finding your soulmate, please grab my book on “How & Where to Seek & Found Love” and also any of my Relationship books at Amazon
Discerning The Loving Heart
How often have you had the experience of connecting with someone – a friend or a potential partner – who turns out to be an uncaring person? At first you think this is a really good person, and then down the line you discover that the person is self-centred, narcissistic, angry and uncaring. You wonder how you could be so wrong, and what can you do differently next time?
Examples and Case Studies
As a result, people have different levels of the willingness to feel others’ feelings. Some of us deeply feel others’ pain and joy, while other people don’t. Some people can recall caring about others’ pain and joy from a very young age, while other people remember being concerned mostly with their own feelings and needs.
The people who have chosen the deeper level of compassion are often the ones that become the caretakers, while the less compassionate people become the takers. Caretakers are people who have learned to take responsibility for others’ feelings and well-being, while takers are people who expect others to take responsibility for their feelings and well-being and often blame others when they don’t take on this responsibility.
If you are a compassionate person who easily feels others’ feelings, you might find yourself drawn to people who are in pain. Your compassionate heart naturally wants to help those people who are in pain, not only out of caring, but also because their pain is painful to you. The problem is that this person might not care about your feelings as much as you care about his or hers.
How do you become discerning of who has a loving, caring and compassionate heart?
So, how do you become discerning of who has a loving, caring and compassionate heart? The first step is to focus on developing as much compassion for your own feelings as you have for others. Often, very caring people leave themselves out, caring about others far more than they care about themselves.
This leaves them vulnerable to becoming the caretaker for someone who just wants someone else to take care of them, and then gets angry when you don’t do it “right.” If you develop compassion for yourself, you will start to feel much more quickly when someone is not really caring about you. If you are just focused on another’s feelings, you won’t notice what you feel, and it is your own feelings that allow you to discern caring from a lack of caring.
The next step is to understand and accept that, no matter how caring you are to others, you have no control over how caring others are with you. You can’t make someone be caring, and the more you take care of another’s feelings and well-being while ignoring your own, the less caring the other will be. The other person becomes a mirror for your lack of caring about yourself.
The more you learn to take full, 100% responsibility for your own feelings, the more another’s lack of caring will be intolerable to you. The more you are able to stay tuned into yourself and trust your own perceptions, the quicker you will discern a lack of caring in others. The more you accept your lack of control over getting others to be caring, the quicker you will let go of people who are intent on getting caring but not much concerned with giving it.
It really doesn’t take long to discern the loving heart once you have compassion for yourself, trust your perceptions, and accept your lack of control over others. People betray their intention to either give love or to get it, or to give to get, with everything they say and do. With practice, you can learn to discern the loving heart very early in a relationship. If you want to stop recreating the same relationships over and over, then develop your power of discernment.