Wednesday, January 3, 2024

CAN FORGIVENESS HELP THE HEALING PROCESS? – Katie L Lindley


“Forgiveness is healing, especially forgiving yourself” Alyson Noel

As life goes, hurt people hurt people. It is just part of the human plight. No one can escape being disappointed or outright wronged. We can walk away, draw healthy boundaries, and put those people in our past, but what about ourselves? If we are hurt, that pain can stay trapped inside like a ring on a tree and become a part of who we are.

How do we heal the trapped hurt? After all, it has become a ring.

I have written about forgiveness, stating that forgiving someone who has caused you and your loved ones pain, harm, and grief is not always necessary. Remember, if you burn your hand on the stove, do not do that again. Yet I still hold my ground that some have not earned your forgiveness; I mean, monsters have no remorse. SCORPION & THE FROG:

An old fable of the scorpion that hops on the frog’s back to safely cross the pond. The frog asked, “You are a scorpion. You can sting me.” The scorpion replies, “If I sting you, we will both die,” so the frog takes his dangerous passenger and heads out to cross the pound in the middle of the journey. The scorpion stings the frog. The frog asked, “Why did you do that? Now we will both drown!” The scorpion replies, “It is in my nature.”

Does the frog seek forgiveness as he is drowning? Does the scorpion seek self-forgiveness? I do not know; they are a frog and a scorpion. Yet, there is an analogy we can relate to. We sometimes trust the wrong person.

I have loved and been disappointed, hell, heartbroken. Is that the nature of love? I don’t think so. I understand that we can love more than one person in this lifetime and get crushed along our journey. Do all these things pile up like wrecks on the highway of our souls? Perhaps.Healing/Forgivness work.

IF YOU ARE READY, GRAB A PAD AND WRITE THIS DOWN.

“I forgive you for not being who I wanted you to be.”

That is powerful from Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life”—a highly recommended book. Louise teaches us how pain and anger can get trapped in our bodies and the steps we can take to heal them.
If you are still on a healing path, the next step is…

“I forgive myself for wanting you to be something you were not.”

The last quote is from me. I am the author of “A Man for Every Purpose, My Naked Journey Searching for Love.” I understand wholly that self-forgiveness is enormous. It is a pivotal part of the process necessary to embrace results.

After writing the forgiveness affirmations by hand, I sat with pen and paper and began to write about all the people in my life who had deeply hurt me. Some were strikingly obvious. I wrote down names and then more names. I was shocked as some names showed up; I kept writing and let it happen as it happened. With earnest passion, I wrote more. I saw names that surprised me and then understood my part. The writing process was exhausting and liberating all at the same time. As my full paper lay before me like a clue to solving a cold case, I knew how blessed I was to begin the process of healing.

I have been the Frog more than once, willing to let the Scorpion hop on board. I have also been the scorpion with an unforgettable sting, not caring if we both drowned.

My Mantra: “I hold responsibility for my choices in my healing journey.”



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