Monday, April 15, 2024

Communication That Resolves Resentments – Susie & Otto Collins

It’s a fact, your communication either creates closeness, connection and expands the feelings of love, creativity and possibilities…

Or it creates walls, barriers and defenses that cause distance, separation and resentments.

Wouldn’t it be a whole lot better if the other people in your life were better at communicating?

But since we’re talking with you right now…

The big question is what can you do to improve communication and connection for yourself as well as for others?

Much more than you think!

It does all start with you and what you’re focusing on.

Here are two ways to resolve resentments that have held you back from communicating with ease and love…

1. Know that holding onto resentment hurts YOU and not them

It’s certainly easy to fall into the thinking that by hanging onto anger, regret and bitterness, we are somehow making the other person “pay” for what they did to us–or didn’t do.

Even though it may not make conscious sense, it seems that that’s what we humans do!

Anything could be further from the truth.

The truth is that we are only hurting ourselves when we close down the vital energy that runs through each of us.

All parts of our lives suffer when we close down this creative force inside us by hanging onto to how we were wronged and how it “should” have been.

The magic is in loving ourselves enough to lay resentment down and stop trying to “punish” the other person.

That doesn’t mean we pretend everything is as it was before.

It means that we can make loving choices for ourselves when our minds aren’t clouded with anger and bitterness.

When we aren’t focused on how we were wronged, we’re able to talk and listen with more ease.

Others are so less defensive when we’re not consumed with resentment.

2. Look for what’s positive in your present moment

When you focus on the present moment and what you like vs. what you don’t like…

Worlds open up to you that you never knew were possible.

When Carol started focusing on being a loving mother and reviving her interest in music instead of how her husband left her for another woman…

She found more peace and happiness….

In small moments at first and then those moments grew to where she barely thought about her ex and “the other woman.”

She saw a future for her and her kids that she didn’t think was possible.

Little by little, she was able to communicate with her ex without the hatred and hurt she had been carrying around and she found that their co-parenting was so much easier!

Communication starts with the thoughts you’re believing to be true and that you carry around with you.

Easier communication begins with being mindful of where you’re holding onto resentments and allowing them to dissolve.

If you’d like to resolve resentments in your life or have questions about communicating with someone in your life, contact us here…

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