Monday, June 12, 2023

Compassion is an Inside Job — The Connected Relationship

Being a jerk to your partner feels icky because you’re a nice person and your partner is your best friend.  You don’t treat your friends like a jerk.  You try your best to be kind, loving, supportive, witty, and funny.

But what if we told you that being a good friend to your partner starts by being a good friend to yourself?  It’s hard to put forth on the outside what you don’t practice on the inside.  

What if, instead of diving into self-criticism, you took a moment to pause and be a good friend to yourself.  To acknowledge that being a human being at this time in history is kinda hard.  To know that you’re not the only one struggling, exhausted and cranky and a little afraid.  And what if, instead of criticizing yourself for these things, you talked as kindly to yourself as you try to with your partner and your kids and your dog?  What if you said, “Man, self, this is tough.  We can get through this, but maybe we need to rest a little”, (or whatever encouraging words you might say to your loved one).

Then THAT’S the energy we draw from and interact with.  Then how would you show up in your relationship?

It can be a game changer when we do it regularly.  I know it sounds odd, but what have we got to lose at this point?  Give it a try and let us know what you think!

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