Wednesday, June 14, 2023

Don’t Let Change Crush the Vibe in Your Relationship — The Connected Relationship

If you are like me, you hate change.  You hate everything about it.  Why can’t everything just stay the same?

Change can feel threatening to your relationship.

If you live in the world today, you can certainly say you live in a world that constantly faces change.  There are many examples of change that can affect your relationship.  Just to name a few:

  • Priority shifts such as kids or job changes

  • Moves

  • Phases of life such as starting to have children, or moving into that time when children take up your entire agenda, or even children leaving the house

  • Health changes

  • Partner’s self growth happening at different pace

I could go on and on, but it is fair to say that most of us do not enjoy change in our lives. It creates stress and anxiety.  This stress and anxiety often boils over into our relationships as well. Uncertainty is hard on relationships.

There are a few things we can put into practice that can help us deal with change.  

First, we can understand that our partner is probably doing the best they can with what they have.  They are not out to get you. 

Second, we can understand that change is a constant.  We can’t just freeze this time and keep everything the same.  There is a certain amount of acceptance that we have to have. It takes us to that struggle or surrender point.  You can keep fighting it, or you can breathe through it and surrender to it. 

Third, we need to rely on grounding techniques for our relationships.  There are reasons you and your partner are together, and often those can be remembered when we take a moment to ground ourselves in our relationship. Whether it is holding your partner’s hand, or placing a light touch on their shoulder, there are things we can do that ground us back to each other. 

Lastly, we have to watch out for offloading on our partner.  Offloading is when we just dump all over our partner and take out on our partner our frustrations that most likely have nothing to do with them.  Offloading is always damaging to a relationship.

If you could use some support in dealing with change in your relationship, check our our couples coaching page.






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