Fixing Your Relationship
When a marriage is in trouble the best medicine for it would be to head to marriage counselling centre. These marriage counselling sessions are usually conducted by experienced individual whose main goal is to help save the marriage. Get all the info you need here.
It is often difficult to try and save the marriage when both parties feel they are hitting a brick wall with their perceived attempts to being reasonable.
The marriage counselor is usually an individual who is not interested in taking side but more interested in getting to the root of the problem and finding a workable solution to get the marriage back on the right track. These people are usually specifically trained to help any and all situations that are created within the marriage that has gone badly wrong. Couple seeking the help of a marriage counselor, will usually come away quite surprised, at what they learn from the sessions.
In almost all cases, miscommunication and misinterpretation are the main culprits of the discord experienced within the marriage.
The marriage counsellor will be able to help the couple see things in a different light and then outline ways to help create a more conducive and workable situation where both parties can participate positively towards mending the relationship.
In helping the couple identify the problem both honestly and clearly, the counselor will then be able to get both parties to work on some exercises that will help them to understand each other better, thus allowing the couple to better face the problem head on when the appropriate time presents itself.
Attending marriage counseling session would also help the couple be more open as the counselor will certainly ask very probing question and will not allow either party to be evasive in their answers.
This level of honestly is sometimes not forthcoming within the confines of the marriage. Although it may seem ideal to simply drift along through the marriage, it would help to create a stronger marriage bond if both parties work out some goals they can participate in achieving the goal.
The goal setting exercise is important as it helps both parties strengthen their relationship by focusing on a common goal. It also helps to improve communication and creates the desire to help each other in a more conducive manner so that the goals set can be achieved without undue pressure.
The goals also help to validate each other’s contributions to the relationship and also keep both parties accountable and committed.
Part of the goal setting process would require both parties to verbalize their dreams and aspirations for the relationship, thus giving each other a clear insight into the workings of their individual mindsets.
Creating a list individually and then taking the time to sit down together to try and collaborate in forming a new list that will serve each party’s needs comfortably, would be the ideal way to go about the whole exercise of setting goals.
Once this is done, both parties would then have to decide on some sort of time line that would be suitable and realistic in moving towards achieving the goals set.
This would include having to evaluate and revaluate certain values and mindset in order to make the goals set achievable. This time of sharing aspirations can be very enjoyable and enlightening if both parties maintain some level of intimacy and cordiality. Being accusations and demanding will not help the exercise of goal setting for the marriage. The act of sharing goals can often bring a couple closer together and also keep them more focused on each other throughout the exercise. Once the goals for the marriage has been firmly outlined and accepted, there would be some follow up steps that should be taken to ensure the goals set are achieved without eventually contributing to the downfall of the relationship.
What’s In The Way
Making a list of the elements that could be possible contributing factors in not getting the goals achieved would be a wise and preemptive action to initiate. This will give both parties the leeway to be open and frank about their reservations and fears. It will also allow both parties to see each other weakness and strengths and work toward exploring the strengths and limiting the hold that the weaknesses may present.
There are several things that would constitute actions that get in the way of achieving the end goals for the marriage. Some of these may prove to be unfounded and quite easily managed and eradicated, while others may present more of a challenge to the couple. The ones that would be identifies as a challenge should be addressed without reservations to ensure these challenges don’t test the patience of both parties and also to ensure it does not in any way negatively affect the marriage.
Sometimes there is a need to prioritise the items on the list of marriage goals. Failing to do this could create the confusion and stress that could lead to the goals becoming a nightmare rather than a healthy focus for the couple. Being prepared and aware of the necessity to change priorities would also be another thing to consider and work on, as more often than not situations arise unexpectedly that can cause the goals set to become defunct. Part of the list should be how to handle or address such possibilities.
The most difficult effort to make would be to not resort to seeking justice for the wronged feelings and experiences. The individual would have to be strong enough and to want the relationship badly enough, to get to the stage where there is a positive attitude in place to help salvage the marriage by getting help.
Bitterness will not help in any way, especially if the individual is interested in keeping a good grasp on the relationship. Despite the hurt and negativity, both parties should ideally try to seek help from professional outside forces that will help to move both parties forward and in a mode where damage control can be initiated.
Trusting that the help sought, will give both parties the opportunity to seek some form of resolve that will help to keep the marriage on the track to mending itself is very important.
In most cases the trust issue within relationship is the first thing that becomes a matter of contention for both parties, therefore making the effort to develop a positive attitude to building back the trust is an important step in the right direction.
Forgiveness is another element that needs to be addressed in the process of cultivating a positive attitude. The positive impact of being ready to forgive can and usually does wonders for the failing relationship.
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