Friday, June 16, 2023

How Having Friends Improves Your Relationship — The Connected Relationship

One of our favorite times of the month is when we get together with friends for Supper Club.  Our ritual started 4 years ago, when a group of us — four couples in total — decided that we wanted more time together to hang out, eat good food, and have fun.

The rules of Supper Club are as follows:

  1. We plan something together monthly, usually on a friday or saturday night because jobs get in the way of all the fun.

  2. Each couple takes turns hosting.

  3. The host couple supplies their home, a good meal (with good drink), and entertainment.

  4. “Entertainment” has looked like everything from playing board games to trivia to watching a movie together to singing karaoke.  

What makes Supper Club special is its longevity.  With the exception of a pause mid-pandemic, we’ve kept the rotation alive.  These are couples that we do “real life” with together.  We’ve known each other for lots of years and have been through the good, the bad, and the ugly together.

We’ve been through the ups and downs with each other in our relationships too.  

Which is why Supper Club is good for our relationship.

Statistics show that in a cohort of friends, when one couple separates/divorces, the odds are that other members of the cohort will follow.  But when you build a support network of friends who are real about struggles and committed to doing the work, and encouraging each other to do the work that it takes to stay in relationship, that foundation holds as well.

Think about your friend group.  Who do you have a real relationship with, or who is someone that you can start deepening your relationship with, that will add a sense of support to your relationship with your partner?

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