Saturday, July 29, 2023

How Overthinking Is Ruining Your Love Life – Last First Date

Posted by in dating in midlife | 0 comments


Overthinking can lead to sabotaging your love life. Learn how to stop overthinking in dating so you can have a healthy relationship.

You have a successful career. You have great friends. So, why do you find yourself questioning every thing a man says or does, every conversation, every text, and every date? If overthinking is ruining your love life, what I’m about to say is going to change your life!

How Overthinking Is Ruining Your Love Life

What is overthinking in dating?

“I texted him yesterday, but I haven’t heard back. Also, his last text was so much shorter than his previous text. Is he not interested in me? Maybe he’s dating someone else. Should I text back to see if he’s okay? What will he think of me?”

“He didn’t say he likes my new outfit. Does it make me look fat? Is it ugly? Maybe I should change!” 

 “Why did that man swipe right on my profile? He’s so much younger than me. Will he compare me to younger women? Is there something wrong with a man who would be interested in a woman so much older? Does he have mommy issues?”

Why we overthink in dating

In the early stages of dating, you’re getting to know a stranger, and it’s natural to fill in the blanks about him based on your personal relationship history. For example, if your last boyfriend was a lawyer who was controlling, you might overthink that this lawyer you just met is also controlling, and you’ll be watching for signs of control. It’s important to stay safe, so you try to anticipate anything that might go wrong.

The problem with assuming the worst about your date is you’re not giving him a fair chance. And you’re not being present, which can definitely sabotage your love life.

It’s not just harmful for you to overthink – it can be off-putting to your date as well. When you ruminate and worry about the worst that could happen, a man who’s secure will be repelled by your negative energy.

3 ways to stop overthinking 

1. Don’t project a future before there’s a present.

2. Stay curious and open instead of assuming anything.

3. Treat every date as a clean slate. 

If overthinking is harming your love life, take small steps to stop. It won’t change overnight, but with practice, you’ll become more present and open to the right person showing up on a date, and you’ll connect deeply – without your thoughts getting in the way of building a true loving relationship.

If you struggle with overthinking, I’m diving deeper into this topic in my monthly hour and a half masterclass in the Woman of Value Club. If you’re not yet a member, please join my intimate coaching group for only $7 the first month!

If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find love, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with me and explore how private coaching can help!

Join my free Facebook group, Your Last First Date

Get a copy of my books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating: Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love.


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