Sunday, April 14, 2024

How to Achieve Greater Intimacy (by asking the right questions) – Last First Date

Posted by in communication skills in dating, love after 40 | 0 comments

greater intimacy

How do we achieve greater intimacy in all relationships? By asking the right questions. Topaz Adizes shares 12 questions on the podcast.

Topaz Adizes is an Emmy Award-winning writer, director, and experience design architect. He is the founder and executive director of the experience design studio The Skin Deep. He is also the author of 12 Questions for Love: A Guide to Intimate Conversations and Deeper Relationships, where he reveals how every relationship can be deepened through the 12 carefully crafted questions featured in his documentary series {THE AND}.

In this episode of Last First Date Radio:

● Where the initial idea for the book came from

● Why asking the right kinds of questions creates greater intimacy

● Dating advice that will change how you date


EP 597: Topaz Adizes – How to Achieve Greater Intimacy (by asking the right questions)

Where did the initial idea for the book come from? 

For the last ten years, we’ve been holding space for 1,200 conversations across the world. We were asked to distill what we learned from these conversations. What worked and why? How are people opening up so vulnerably?

What do you hope readers will get from the book?

I hope people will deepen their relationships – all relationships – by asking and answering these questions. 

The book is 12 Questions for Love. Why 12?

We just started with 12 questions for each participant in {THE AND} documentary series, and it worked.

What are the 12 questions, and how do they help create greater intimacy?

There are five things that make for strong questions in the context of a relationships:

  1. Don’t make it binary, yes or no
  2. Ask a question that acknowledges the relationship
  3. Ask questions that are constructive 
  4. Have a question without an agenda
  5. Ask questions to connect different ideas

QUESTION 1: What are your three favorite memories we share and why do you cherish them?

QUESTION 2: What was your first impression of me and how has that changed over time?

QUESTION 3: When do you feel closest to me and why?

QUESTION 4: What are you hesitant to ask me and why?

QUESTION 5: What is the biggest challenge in our relationship right now and what do you think it is teaching us?

QUESTION 6: What is a sacrifice you feel you’ve made that I haven’t acknowledged and why do you think that is?

QUESTION 7: What is the pain in me you wish you could heal and why?

QUESTION 8: What is one experience you wish we never had and why?

QUESTION 9: What do you think you are learning from me?

QUESTION 10: What is one experience you can’t wait for us to share and why?

QUESTION 11: If this was our last conversation, what would you never want me to forget?

QUESTION 12: Why do you love me?

What advice do you have for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?

When that moment of clarity opens for you and you write your values (must-have list) from a place of knowing, don’t take that for granted. Write: What I see, what I don’t see, and how I feel. That will help you recognize your partner when you meet them.

Watch this episode on YouTube

Connect with Topaz








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