How to be independent in a relationship – this is a question that many have asked me.
Being in a relationship feels great when you are completely in love with your partner, thinking about them day and night, want to spend quality time, and want to do everything together.
But how much are you financially, mentally, and emotionally independent in your relationship?
It always feels super great and lucky when you get special treatment, love, and care in your relationship.
Love is one of the wonderful feelings that one can feel, but it is certainly not the only thing that defines you in a relationship.
I am married for six years now, and I have recently given birth to a healthy baby boy. I have no shame in admitting that I am living a happy married life.
How I maintained the balance that I have been giving tips from time to time in this blog for all my readers.
I believe it is quite important to discuss how much independence is necessary for a relationship and how it drives happiness in yourself.
Importance of Independence in a Relationship
You might wonder why independence is needed in a relationship, especially if you are happy staying with your partner.
Independence plays a crucial role in a relationship as it helps you and saves you from losing yourself.
Relationships are always hard to maintain. It requires a great deal of determination, patience, a lot of time to form the base of a relationship.
While going through the process, we sometimes tend to lose ourselves. If you want to keep a healthy relationship, keeping yourself recognized as ‘YOU’ is important.
It’s okay to be in love and depend on your partner, but too much dependency is neither good for you nor your relationship.
So, as a couple, your goal should always be to grow together in a healthy environment and help each other achieving that goal.
Staying independent in a relationship will give you and your partner that opportunity.
Now that you know why independence is important, here comes the question of achieving and maintaining balance.
Make Some Time for Yourself
How often do you take ‘me time?’
You are in a committed relationship or not; you must do something that keeps you motivated and ease off your tired brain.
There are a ton of things to do that can make you happy, you don’t need anyone for company.
When you are in a relationship, you have to make an effort to make it work, and this takes time.
You would love to spend some quality time with your partner or be with your family.
You hardly get time for yourself.
To be independent in a relationship, I would suggest taking time for yourself and only for yourself will work.
It’s okay to be selfish and do things alone that makes you happy.
You can watch your favorite movie, cook your favorite dish, go to a spa, or walk around the city randomly, get a ticket for a baseball match or comedy club.
The goal is simple, switch off your brain, forget about everyone else and just take time for yourself.
Hang Out with Friends
Generally, you stop hanging out with your friends after you are in a committed relationship or married. Not because you don’t like it, but you hardly have any time left to do that.
If you are looking for an answer to ‘How to be Independent in a Relationship,’ this would be your second thing to do – hang out with your friends.
It’s not just you who is busy, your friends too are busy, but for the old-time sake, they will love to spend some quality time, eat, drink and gossip for hours.
A friendly get-together is all you need to charge yourself up. It’s not mandatory that you have to devote all your time to your relationship.
You must give each other a little space; it will only do good for your relationship.
If you have a tight schedule and don’t match with your friends’, pre-plan the meeting and book a spot earlier, say, a table in a restaurant for the weekend.
A heart full of laughter and sharing old memories will give you pleasure.
Take Your Decision
You may be in a relationship with the most loving person, but you shouldn’t forget that you have a voice and can make your decisions.
Often in a relationship, it has been seen one partner is even dependent on making decisions.
You can always consult and take your partner’s opinion, but you should take your decisions and stand on them as an individual.
Play an active role in a relationship. You must not subjugate yourself in a relationship. Both the partners have equal rights and responsibilities towards maintaining the relationship.
Likewise, take each other’s opinions and discuss everything, but when it comes to decision-making, you should be confident enough of what you think.
For example, if you think you should do a digital marketing course, you can consult and let your partner know, but it has to be your decision if you want to do it.
Do Not be Extremely Dependent on Your Partner
I have no shame in admitting that I am emotionally extremely dependent on my husband.
Though it’s not just me, my husband is equally dependent on me, but we maintain what I call ‘relationship parameters’ that keep us motivated and strong.
If one partner is too dependent on the other, there is likely to create situations where the relationship loses its balance.
For example, I have known many married couples in my neighborhood and relatives who depend on the other so much that they fear taking one step without even asking their husbands.
There are two types of dependency, financial and emotional dependency.
If you are not financially stable, then you are financially dependent on your partner.
On the other hand, if you are emotionally too fragile, your dependency lies on your partner, which is normal.
The problem gets bigger when you are getting separated from your partner due to some grievous reasons.
It gets harder for the person to recover who is too much dependent on the other.
For example, If your partner has cheated on you in your relationship, you will be the victim and will get hurt the most because you are more vulnerable than your partner.
The best way to be independent in a relationship is to be more resistant and have controlled emotions.
Speak Up Your Mind, Communicate
In almost all my relationship blog posts, you will see how much I emphasize the importance of effective communication in a relationship.
I always believe with proper and concise communication, any relationship conflict can be resolved.
Most relationships fail because they don’t find it necessary to establish healthy communication, even during conflicts.
Do you know communication has the healing power and can fix your marriage after cheating?
Likewise, you are independent when you speak up your mind fearlessly in a relationship.
Set a goal with your partner that you will communicate whatever reason to avoid chaos in your relationship.
To maintain your independence in a relationship, you have to be authoritative, add value to your relationship by communicating positively, and be clear about your wants and needs.
Believe in Yourself
If you want to be independent in a relationship, you have to believe in yourself.
Believing in yourself should be the first thing to remember; you as an individual must gain confidence and start believing in your capability.
If you are a confident young fellow, you will add positive energy to your relationship.
When you are in a relationship, a little space is always welcomed. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be with your partner all the time.
You can certainly take some time off from each other and do things alone that make you happy.
Travel makes a relationship better; it works as therapy. Likewise, solo traveling allows you to enjoy yourself without any dependency.
You can make plans, book accommodations, and flights, do your packing all by yourself, and start your journey keeping safety in mind.
Solo traveling gives a person ample time to think, experience, and adapt to the situation. Solo traveling helps making you independent and boost your confidence.
Have a Job
When we talk about independence in a relationship, the first thing that comes to mind is ‘having a job.’
Indeed, having a job automatically makes you independent financially. You do not have to ask for money from your partner.
You are free to spend your money the way you want.
To become independent in a relationship, financial independence is crucial.
It doesn’t matter if it is a job or business; you must involve yourself in something that makes you complete.
There’s no need to give up everything just because you are in a relationship. We all love to do something during our leisure hours, something that keeps our minds at peace.
If your partner loves to play guitar or paint, you can join them. Or, you can join a hobby class like painting, a singing class or even a dance class.
In the majority of the cases, couples get so busy with their schedule that they hardly feel it important to continue their hobbies.
You can give your time once a week to your favorite hobby. It will give you ‘me time’ and give you independence over your thoughts and character.
Do Not Compromise with Your Happiness
Happiness doesn’t come with one thing. Some people measure happiness with luxury things, whereas for some, small things bring happiness.
Likewise, in a relationship, if you are happy or not can be measured by several parameters.
You will be happy if your partner loves, respect and understand you. Your partner prioritizes you over everything and supports you to become a better version of yourself.
You can find independence in a relationship if you want. Think over what you want and try to prioritize your motives.
Find out things that keep you happy because if you are happy, you can create a happy environment in your relationship with the support of your partner.
So, do not sacrifice too much; neither should you compromise. A relationship can be beautiful and last longer when both works on it and help each other, making it better.
If you are looking for answers to every problem, you will get it yourself. All you need is to figure out the issues and then work on them.
With independence comes confidence and strength in decision-making.