Dating can be tough, especially if you’re new to the game or returning after a hiatus. It often feels intimidating and overwhelming, with too many rules, apps, scammers, and a barrage of information to process. This can make you hesitant to dive in, leaving you feeling lost and resistant to the idea of dating altogether. You may convince yourself you’re too busy, too old, or just not cut out for it, leading to procrastination and excuses. The desire for quick and easy success can also lead to impatience and discouragement, making you contemplate giving up on love entirely.
But here’s the important message: Don’t quit or lose faith. We have a deceptively simple strategy that can help you believe in love again. It’s a small mindset shift that can make all the difference in your dating journey. Once you take the leap and embrace this shift, everything changes.
To kick things off, let’s focus on what we call the 3 P’s: Potential, Process, and Progress.
1. Potential: You’re not a finished product
Carol Dweck’s research emphasizes there’s no expiration date on learning, changing, improving, and evolving. There’s ALWAYS room for growth, and there’s no set endpoint in your personal development. Nobody was born as a dating expert, so you have just as much potential to become one as anyone else.
2. Process: Today vs. Always/Forever
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Instead of viewing your dating experiences and patterns as a permanent reflection of who you are, recognize that they are situational and not a fixed aspect of your identity. Shift your perspective from “I am a stress manget” to “I’m currently feeling stressed” or from “Dating is a perpetual nightmare” to “Dating is frustrating me right now.”
3. Progress: You’ll Get There
As much as everyone would like to, you can’t rush or skip phases when it comes to finding love. Building a meaningful connection takes time and effort. To achieve this, you’ll need focus, patience, and discipline. Remember that you’ll get there eventually. Focus on the journey, taking it one step at a time.
Here’s the big mindset shift: The Power of “YET”
These three little letters: Y E T make all the difference. They are all about the possibilities of Potential, Process, and Progress. The YET mindset is optimistic and motivating, creating the right mental space for growth and empowerment. Instead of saying, “I haven’t mastered dating” or “I haven’t met any good guys” say, “I haven’t mastered dating… YET” or “I haven’t met any good guys… YET” It acknowledges that your current state is just temporary and that you have the power to change and improve.
Don’t be your own worst enemy in the quest for love. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that you’re a work in progress. Give yourself credit for the journey you’re on, even if you haven’t reached your destination yet. Follow your heart, but take the 3 P’s and the power of YET with you. Love is a journey, and with the right mindset, you can believe in it again.