How to forget someone you love

Discover how to forget about someone you still love fast

When you have to search the internet on how to forget someone you love, I suspect you’re having a really hard time right now.

I know only too well, from professional and personal experience, how difficult it can be to forget someone you love, even if they’ve really hurt you.

Perhaps you’re hurting because you’ve broken up with someone you love, or they ‘dumped’ you. Or maybe you found out you can’t have a relationship with someone you love.

Regardless of the circumstances, you’ll find something in this article to help you get over someone and forget faster.

Who is that someone you want to get over?

Let us know and see other visitor’s answers. No email address needed, and it’s completely confidential.

Just in case your relationship ended recently

If that breakup happened fairly recently, let me start by reassuring you that it’s perfectly understandable if:

• You can’t stop crying
• You feel hurt and angry
• You’re feeling depressed and anxious
• You can’t think straight
• You can’t be bothered with anything or anyone
• You think you’ll never get over that person and forget about them and what happened.

Your feelings are a normal and typical reaction after a breakup.

Forgetting that someone faster

It matters little how long ago your relationship ended if you still love someone. Understandably, you’re looking for ways to forget when they’re practically ‘camping’ in your head.

Friends and family may have commented: “You should have got over it by now.” or “Pull yourself together, it’s time to move on”.

Hang on in there! I’m going to help you forget that someone faster.

How to get over someone you still love

5 practical steps to help you forget someone and move on

You need to take some crucial steps if you want to forget someone you love and rebuild your life without that person constantly on your mind.

So, let’s go.

Step 1 in getting over someone you love

Build your strength

Accept that you’re grieving, almost like you would after someone has died. I know that may sound dramatic, but it explains why you’re having trouble forgetting someone.

So, you need tender loving care! And whether or not you have supportive people around you, you’re with you 24/7. You’re your own BFF – best friend forever!

Therefore, from now on, decide to:

• Be kind and compassionate toward yourself – your grief won’t last.
• Recognise your way of coping so far. You’re okay. You’re enough, and you’ve got this!
• Build yourself up, and recognise all your achievements, however small.
• Notice when any undermining thoughts arise without judgment and change them into something loving and encouraging.

The stronger you are, the more likely you’ll be able to leave what’s happened behind and forget someone you love.

To help you start today, download my free printable worksheet to help you look after and care for number one.

Free printable worksheet

Free printable worksheet

Step 2. Limit everyday reminders

Stop blaming that someone or yourself

I can guarantee that blaming prevents you from letting go, moving on and forgetting. You’re allowing your mind to keep reminding you of the past.

You may well have reasons to blame, but unfortunately nurturing blame keeps you stuck in the past.

Instead, consider whether you have genuinely been the best partner anyone could have wished for.

Courageous introspection helps you regain control, look to the future and become the best version of yourself.

Stop following them

Delete whatever and whoever needs to be deleted from your social media accounts as much as possible. It’s best if you weren’t confronted with anything from and about the person you’re missing so much.

Stay in touch only with friends you truly trust and value – those who give you energy, not deplete it.

It’s over, so let it be!

Cut down physical reminders

Material things and surroundings directly link with your motivation to buy them or create them.

Memories of what you’ve lost are etched across those possessions.

The accompanying emotional charge helps maintain the old nerve connections in your brain – that railroad track I mentioned earlier.

So, here’s what to do about it:

• Do whatever possible to refresh your personal space if you haven’t already.
• Move the furniture, tidy up
• throw away things laden with memories you no longer need or love
• Buy new bed sheets and pillows. Buy new stuff, find second-hand stuff or swap with friends.

I promise you that this practical action will help you gain a measure of control – another essential emotional need. link

Step 3. Help your loved ones to help you

In the early days, it can really help to pour out your heart to someone you trust. (Scroll down a little further if your relationship was a secret.)

Depending on how long ago you broke up, you should have seen a decline in that need.

So, if you haven’t been able to move on, your friends and family need to know how they can help.

Talk more or less about that person (your ex)? Should they stop gossiping, putting them down and judging? Should they take you out more? Make you laugh?

Your friends can’t read your mind. They will know what to do if you tell them.

Ask them to be sensitive to your needs.

For example, if it’s to talk less about it, you could say: “Thank you so much for your concern. I’m just not ready/willing/prepared to talk about it any further.”

If they continue to press: “Thank you, but let’s change the subject.” No more!

Or you could say: “It would really help me if you would…”.

If you’re having particular trouble with friends and family, be sure you’ve asked the right people for help.

For detailed information on choosing someone to talk to, read my article on how to get the best relationship advice.

What if your friends and family don’t know about that person?

You’re your own best friend

You’ll undoubtedly have good reasons not to tell them about your love for that person. There are enough reasons to keep a relationship a secret.

Nevertheless, it’s important to get things off your chest by talking about your thoughts and feelings. That will help you forget someone, heal and move on.

So here’s how you can help yourself to get over someone you love:

• Keep a journal. Write down what’s in your heart without worrying about punctuation or grammar. There’s no one looking over your shoulder!
• Talk to someone you know but perhaps only greet in passing. To start with, simply be kind to that person and strike up a conversation about them. Ask how they are and see how the conversation develops over a few minutes, days or weeks.
• Talk to someone online. Though be careful, you’re still vulnerable, and there’re people keen to take advantage of that. You wouldn’t want to be catfished. link
• Talk to a registered or licensed therapist.

Step 4. Redirect your attention

That’s easier said than done, so I’m going to help you.

The very best way to regain that sense of joy again in life is to ensure you meet your essential emotional needs in balance. link

One of those vital emotional needs is the need for attention.

It’s time now to direct your attention outwards instead of inward on your feelings of sadness and loss.

People simply love attention! link So, think about who or what would benefit from your undivided attention.

Decide to limit rehearsing all your troubles over and again. Instead, commit to paying attention to something or someone!

Step 5. Consider getting professional help

Hypnosis to forget someone

Hypnosis to forget someone is relatively affordable. It’s super user-friendly and practical.

So, I recommend you get a professionally produced hypnosis audio download to forget someone fast.

Any of the following three might suit your situation:

Or, maybe you need How to boost your self-esteem or something more specific to your needs.

For detailed information on how hypnosis to forget someone could work for you, see my article: Hypnosis FAQ and downloads.

Professional help and advice to get over someone you love

There’s no need to suffer in silence, and there’s no shame in needing expert help.

It’s easy to connect to an online professional relationship therapist.

You’re almost certainly going to feel better by taking action now.

Can you truly forget someone you love deeply?

Whether or not you can forget someone you love depends on how you deal with any of the following:

• What kind of relationship it was and whether or not it was a secret
• The strength of your feelings for each other at the time of the breakup
• How much control you had over the ending of the relationship (who ended it)
• How and when the actual breakup happened
• Whether or not you were already experiencing some mental health problems
• Whether or not this was an on-off relationship
• Whether or not it was an abusive relationship.

So, it’s not so much how the relationship ended that determines how long it takes to get over someone, but much more how you handle it.

Regardless of the ending, the following help you to forget, heal and move on faster.

What’s likely to happen is that you’ll keep some memories, but you’ll need to recall them actively.

And once you are over that someone, the memories you have retained will be jaded and no longer hurt you.

How to forget someone by training your brain

According to Jim Kwik, you can train your brain to forget (link to a video opening in a new tab).

So, let’s use this memory expert’s knowledge to help you forget someone you love deeply.

Here’s how it can work for you…

How to forget someone – FAST

FAST stands for Forget, Active, State, ‘Teach’ – each step needed to forget someone you love fast.

Let’s crack on.

Forgetting is really about unlearning, according to Kwik.

I know it may sound strange. So let me help you:

Forget what you (or others) told yourself

Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that you’ll never get over that someone, you won’t ever forget, and you’ll never be happy again. Or you (or others) have repeated other messages that have undermined your inborn resources to heal you.

What to do now to forget someone:

• As Kwik says: “Start with a beginner’s mind.” In other words, be that kid walking into a classroom for the first time.
• Stop believing in and holding on to the stories you’ve told yourself.
• Don’t exhaust yourself any longer by constantly mulling over what happened and how you’re feeling.
• Trust that you can create new thought patterns in your brain – that’s how you learn to forget someone.
• Instead, take action now, create your new future and move on.

Act to heal yourself

Kwik says you’re learning when you’re active. So you will need more than just reading this article. Instead, get going by taking the steps outlined in this article.

State – change it to feel better in body and mind

Kwik says: “Information plus emotion is long-term memory”.

For example, that song you keep listening to reminding you of the past is information. It stirs up emotions. The information and emotions strengthen your long-term memory.

Here’s how you can change your state using this to your advantage instead of it being a disadvantage:

• Listen to a track that reminds you of your personal achievements and happy times.
• Choose times totally unconnected with the person you’re trying to forget.
• Notice the change in your state – how your body and mind have responded.

That’s how you easily and quickly create a positive state of mind.

Teach – meaning helping others to forget

Now master the steps, remembering there’s bound to be a friend in a similar situation one day in need of your help.

Imagine how you’ll teach them to get over someone using this technique and the rest of this article.

What would you be telling them to do? How would you encourage them?

Helping others will also help you to focus outward instead of inward. Much, much healthier!

5 tips to help you become even more resilient

Here’s how you can further beef up your resilience and ability to heal yourself after a breakup:

1. Nurture your physical, mental, emotional or spiritual well-being.
2. Let feelings and thoughts come to mind instead of trying not to notice them or pretending you’re happy-clappy.
3. Ignore other people’s dodgy advice that you should be over it after a week or a month or so.
4. Acknowledge past hurts and how you’ve coped with them. Don’t try to push them away, and don’t judge. They’re part of your history. You can deal with those another time.
5. Open up to someone about what you’re going through. link

How to accept what’s happened, get over someone, forget and move on

Know that the relationship – and its ending – will become part of your life story. That story includes all your experiences, from the most glorious to the frankly disastrous.

We all have those, and some memories will fade faster than others. It’s part of the human condition.

What you had with that person – good and bad – is part of your history and the beautiful person you’ve become.

Keep and share!