Friday, June 16, 2023

How To Function After Discovering Partner’s Porn Addiction


From a Betrayed Partner with an SSA + IA Spouse

Q: I have been neglecting my kids at some times. I don’t have the energy to play and laugh with them like I used to. I look a freaking mess. My house looks so messy as well. I perform at work just fine don’t even have the passion for my job or carrier anymore. What can I do?

 

Savvy Answer:

I want to say that it’s normal. When I was going through my healing I was pregnant and then a new mother. I was a wreck. I was so depressed it was hard to get out of bed to take care of my son. I get it. The pain and trauma is very real and takes a real toll on you and others.

As my co-coach Chloe says, “On those big bad betrayal trauma days, it’s okay that the kids get dessert for dinner, or cereal, or microwavable dinners. It’s okay.”

Give yourself grace and a break. You are freaking SUPER WOMAN! The fact that you still wake up in the morning and continue to live life after being bombarded by this bombshell in your life is amazing!

And honestly, if you have kids, your house will always be a mess when they are young, especially when you have more than one kid! The house being a mess is the least of your worries. It’s okay that it’s a mess. It might be time to see if you can get a house cleaner in the early days of recovery to relieve yourself of a duty that might actually be too much for you to do.

Self-care is SO important to healing! Don’t forget that YOU matter. YOU are important too!

Also, is your spouse helping you out with the house?

If not, it’s time to get him to pitch in if you guys don’t want to get a house cleaner. One key part of recovery is the addict learning to take things off of the betrayed’s plate and take ownership of those responsibilities.

We betrayed partners run on fumes day to day barely making it. If we don’t take time for ourselves, to recharge, to get the right recovery team, we will run ourselves ragged!

Want More Savvy Answers? Subscribe here!



Related Articles

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Latest Articles