marriage, money if not properly handled can bring a serious problem to
both couples. Many marriages today have been torn apart because either
one or both couples do not have the right perspective on marriage and
Today’s article primary’s target audience is
men. Men, are you ready? Let’s discuss this today for the happiness of
“A lot of people thoughts that the wife’s money is her money, but the husband’s money is the family’s money.”
is still well misunderstood by many people most especially African
women, and because of this misunderstanding, the financial aspect of
marriage is in shambles in many homes.
Please let’s tell ourselves the simple truth:
finance or better still, money creates more trouble in not-well
financially comfortable homes than the very comfortable or rich ones. In
a home where the husband’s personal income is not enough to take care
of the family’s needs, that’s house rent, food, and clothes, and there’s a need for a wife’s contribution is most likely the home to
experience financial problems.
For most African women, catering to a family’s needs is 100 percent the husband’s
responsibility. These kinds of women often say that the husband’s money
is the family’s money while their own money is theirs alone. In many
marriages today, these women don’t contribute to the financial progress
of the family, and those who do so think they are doing their husbands
some big favor for doing it. But that’s not true at all.
marriages, the women who earn some money contribute little or nothing
towards the financial progress of their families. Many worsen the
situation by channeling all their money to their parents and siblings
while their own families are left to struggle financially. With this
attitude, one is left wondering in his heart where the loyalty and
submissiveness of those wives really lie. Their husbands and children or
their parents and siblings?
Some years ago, a husband reported
his marital case to me. It was a situation where the wife although
earning a monthly salary never supported the family’s financial needs
even in the smallest ways. Whenever the husband requested assistance
from her or complained about her indifference towards the financial
needs of the family, she would tell him that it was her own money and it
belonged to her alone together with her parents and siblings. All
efforts by her husband to get her to do the needful were unsuccessful.
Many African ladies are like this woman.
But today I am pleased
to offer the men a solution using an unconventional approach to manage a
financial crisis in their marriage.
Dear men, if you are still
earning an income that can not care for the needs of the entire family
without the help of your wife please try these important tips.
understand this: just as your wife claims that her money is hers and
for the members of her own side of the family alone, Your money is your
money and you also have parents and siblings depending on you to care
for or better still, the right to spend your money the way it pleases
Here’s an example to follow for easy understanding:
say you are a father of two little kids and you are earning N150,000
monthly. Let’s say your wife is earning N100,000 monthly.
good husband and father, you have been catering to the family’s needs
with your entire salary without any form of assistance from your wife
because she believes that her money isn’t for the marriage, but for
herself, her parents, and siblings.
This is what you should do:
the N150,000 you’re earning monthly, you should start catering for your
family like someone who is earning just N80,000. Save the remaining
N70,000 for your personal needs and for your own side of the family.
It’s not a retaliation; it’s wisdom.
As a man, if you are still
earning very low, please don’t let your wife’s selfishness ruin you
financially. Take care of your family, but save some money for yourself
also. Even if you will not spend everything on yourself or family
members, just have some personal savings because it’s important.
Are there implications for this new approach or change of approach?
there are! The question is, can you handle the implications very well
without adding more financial crisis to your marriage?
The new implications mean you will have to cut down on many expenses you are handling at home such as:
1) Accommodation. Rent the house of your new financial reality, N80,000.
2) Number of children you should give birth to. You will have to put a stop to having children so you can care for them.
School fees. If your children were attending a school where the term’s
tuition fee is N60,000, you should go to a school where the term’s
tuition fees are between N30,000 and N40,000.
4) Feeding for the
family. If the monthly feeding expenditure for the family is N60,000,
you may have to start spending just about N35,000 monthly feeding budget
for the family.
5) Other family unexpected expenses. Cut down
on some expenses or better still forfeit some things for now so you can
be able to manage your family financial crisis well.
Dear men, a
wife who knows that her husband is still coming up financially and can’t
support him financially whereas she can, can’t be fully trusted in that
marriage. Realities on the ground show that with such women, should the
husband lose his job, she will never assist him in a little way she can
or might change in attitude totally towards the husband, or move on
with her life.
Finally, as a man who is still coming up
financially, please don’t force a wife to contribute financially to a
family. Let her do it from her own volition. But if she doesn’t do it,
continue to be a good husband and father but save some money for
yourself too because should you lack it, she will never assist you in