Monday, June 12, 2023

How To Nail A One-night Stand ⋆ Rain DeGrey


Dirty Talk Advice ColumnOne-night stands happen. Humans being human, they happen fairly frequently. But for every glorious, earth-shattering, time-stopping, one-night stand, there are far more awkward and anti-climatic ones. If you are going to bother to do something in the first place, you might as well do your best to make the experience worthwhile. This applies to most things in life, but let’s focus on one-night stands for the time being.

Today’s topic comes courtesy of a reader who wants to know how to make one-night stand sex as epic as possible—a noble goal and one I approve of. One-night stands come with specific factors, and as such, have to be approached in a specific way. However, fear not! Even if “successful one-night stands” are not on your bucket list, some of the tips will still be applicable to other situations as well. Let’s get started, shall we?


“How do you make sex as good as possible if it’s a one-night stand? I want it to be really good, even if it is only just the once. What can I do to make sure that happens?”–Wanting A Truly Successful One Night Stand

One-night stands can be blissful oases of magic that become forever etched in the memory book of your mind, never complicated by arguments or bad days. When done properly. What is an added challenge is that, by their very nature, you do not get to refine and perfect your sexual technique. It’s a one-and-done experience. That means you need to bring some memorable A game right out of the gate and be instantly adaptable to the moment. It’s hard, but not impossible.

Don’t Tie The Sucess Of Your One-night Stand To Orgasms

As an educator, I never tie a “successful” sexual experience to one with orgasms. Some incredible sexual encounters are orgasm-free and some miserable ones can involve orgasms. What I would label a “good” sexual experience is one where everyone walks away feeling happy and grateful for the encounter. Whether a one-night stand or 30 years of marriage, that should always be your goal.

What is the most important factor in having someone walk away from an encounter with you feeling happy and grateful? Them feeling COMFORTABLE. The more comfortable someone is, the more likely they are to have a positive impression about what happened. Feeling comfortable applies just as much in a physical sense as it does to mental and emotional states as well.

Location, Location, Location

One-night Stand DumpsterWhere is this one-night stand happening? In a hotel room rented for the occasion? The back seat of a car? Behind the dumpster in an alleyway? Like with real estate, location matters. While a quick and dirty one-night stand behind a dumpster might sound like the Pinnacle of Sexy Times for some, the truth is, the more clean and comfortable the environment around you, the more likely people are to enjoy themselves.

Is it too cold? Too hot? Nothing comfortable to lay down on? Nothing to hold onto? What is the possibility of being interrupted? Is anyone too thirsty? Is there easy access to a bathroom? Any one of those being a concern can be a factor in someone not being able to fully relax. The more relaxed someone is, the more they enjoy themselves.

Just as important as physical comfort is mental and emotional comfort. If everyone is on the same playing field, the odds of the sex being better increases dramatically. Make sure they are equally as enthusiastic and feel comfortable with all activities.

Learn How To Read Body Language

Read Body LanguageWhat makes one-night stands challenging is that you only have one chance at decoding their body language—the better you can decode, the better the sex is. The opportunity to refine and shift activities over time is not on the table, and an ESP-like ability to read minds is needed. Luckily, there IS a way to practically read people’s minds and come across as a true sex god—read their body language.

Body language is the universal language of all humans, and we are all speaking it at all times. How is someone holding themselves? Are their shoulders hunched up and rigid? Do they have a big smile on their face? Do they look distant? Bored? Are they breathing rapidly? Are they making eye contact? People are constantly reporting things to you via body language.

Body language in the bedroom is no different, and the more fluent you are with body language the more epic the banging is. Based on what you DO know about the other person and how they hold their face and bodies, only do things that make them look packed full of bliss. Does their breathing shift when you start doing something? Do they start breathing faster, more ragged? Is that a sigh of pleasure? Or annoyance? Are they melting into your fingers? Or are they tensing up and pulling away from your touch? They are self-reporting to you constantly. The better you are at reading people, the more they will end up enjoying themselves.

Use Your Words

Mind Blowing One-night standYou don’t have to rely on just body language though…words are extremely useful tools as well. “Do you like (fill in the blank)?” “Does that feel good?” “Show me your favorite spot to be touched.” “What turns you on more than anything else in the whole world?” Simple, easy questions that don’t spoil the moment but instead help aid it. If someone tells you that something is not working for them, STOP. Immediately. No questions asked. Respect limits.

If you have a one-night stand in a comfortable place where nobody is too cold or overheated, where everyone feels safe and relaxed, pay attention to body language and respect limits, the odds of the sex being good? They are in your favor. May the odds always be in your favor and may you have as many epic one-night stands as possible.

Keep it Kinky My Friends,
RDG

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