Insecurity In A Relationship: Everyone arrives into a relationship with their own set of emotional problems. Even if you’ve found the perfect person to share your life with, your past can come out and cause problems.
Insecurity in a relationship would be a clear case of “it’s me, not you” as a reason why things might not work out. Before that happens, you should try to stop that feeling of Insecurity from getting worse and start fights. Here are seven things to consider if you feel insecure in a relationship.
How to handle Insecurity in a relationship
1. Don’t compare things
Jealousy often goes hand in hand with feeling insecure in a relationship, and jealousy usually starts with comparing yourself to others. In particular, you compare yourself to your partner’s past partners. Those people may have moved away or even moved to a different state. But you’ll feel like you’re not as attractive or charming as those ex-lovers were.
That can make you think the same way about everyone who crosses your partner’s path. That’s why you don’t want to compare things. The person with whom you have a relationship is with you. Surely you would know if they were looking for something else.
2. Appreciate your unique qualities
You tend to pick at yourself when you feel insecure in a relationship. You don’t measure up. You don’t measure up. You don’t deserve to be with such a great person. This is the kind of negative thinking that needs to be turned around. Think about how many people you know who are not in a relationship with you.
Don’t you care about them? Your friends and family love and appreciate all the unique things about you. You still have these traits when you’re with your partner. Maybe they should be made more robust! Why do your friends and family think you’re a great person? That’s the person you want to tell your partner about.
3. Try to find the truth
Uncertainty leads to doubt. That usually means that they are wrong about a lot of different things. If you’re unsure about something, ask your partner the right questions to find out the truth.
Your biggest worry might be whether or not they are happy with you. The truth is that you might make them happy, but they might also be dealing with some other stress that needs help. Finding the truth can lead to a conversation that can bring you and your partner closer.
4. Take control of what you can
Your partner can talk to anyone they want. People are going to talk to other people, whether they’re at work or out with friends. Sometimes, those other people will be attractive. Do you not do the same? Of course, you do. Conversations are precisely what they sound like: talks.
No matter how much you want to, you will never be able to know what your partner is thinking. You also can’t listen to everything they say. Even knowing what they were about isn’t necessary. If they have something to share, they will share it. If not, all they might do is talk about the weather.
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5. Identify the root cause
Insecurity in a relationship can be fixed by getting to the bottom of what’s making it happen. That means going on a trip inside yourself. You’ve probably felt insecure in a relationship before, so you’ve likely felt this way before.
You could have had these feelings of Insecurity for your whole life. Time to figure out what some triggers are for. You might want to talk to a therapist to help you get there. Don’t let the thought of talking to a therapist scare you away. This trip will be worth the time or effort.
6. Stop Making Up False Problems
How many problems does making stuff up cause in your relationship? Maybe your partner’s lousy day has nothing to do with you. What do you do? You make a situation where their horrible mood is caused by something you did or didn’t do.
To get past that, you need to find out what’s happening and figure out how to help them. Sometimes the best way to help is to give them space to figure out their problems independently. It might be enough for them to know you’re there.
7. Focus on the good things
If you only think about the bad things in a relationship, you’ll never be able to get over your fears. Is everything perfect between you two? Most likely not. Will it happen? Most likely not. If you keep thinking about what’s wrong, love has no chance to grow.
You have to get people to feel good. What is working between you? What good times have you had together, and what do you look forward to? What are you going to do today to make them happy? There’s no room for worry when looking at the bright side of things.