Sunday, June 11, 2023

Is It Good or Bad To Leave Together Before Marriage? 

Is It Good or Bad To Leave Together Before Marriage? 

Over the past few decades, many couples have wondered if it’s smart to live together before getting married. People didn’t have to think about this many years ago because it didn’t happen often. But it is becoming more and more common and accepted today. But before you move in together, there are many things to consider.

First, you must look at what you want and be on the same page. In other words, do you live together in the same house to see if you get along? Are you living together because you don’t want to get married or because you want to put it off? If so, why do you keep doing it? It would help if you had a long, honest talk about why one or both want to live together without getting married.

Is it Good or Bad to live together before getting Married?

Let’s discuss the good and bad things about living together before getting married.

The Good:

Shared finances

This could be the most general cause people live together before getting married. They keep clothes and other personal items at one person’s house, and they might be there more than at their own home. Therefore, it would make sense to quit paying two separate leases or mortgages, two separate utility and cable bills, and many more bills.

Even though this is a good thing about living together, you need to be smart with your money. It’s easy to spend the extra money you’ve saved without knowing where it went. A better suggestion would be to save the cash from the other family and invest it in your future together.

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It’s less stressful to get married finally.

It can be hard to live with anyone. Everyone can get on your nerves, whether it’s your parents, siblings, or children, when you live in the same place 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s just the way things are. When trying to date or have a serious relationship with someone, you have much less time to learn about their habits. When you first start dating someone, you might not notice or pay attention to some of their annoying habits.

It might even seem cute to you. But as time goes on, things that seemed fine initially start to bother you. So, imagine that you had never lived together before you got married and that you had a mental breakdown when you moved in together. You might think, “This person is driving me crazy because they never do the dishes!” If you live together before you get married, you’ll know what to expect, and there will be fewer surprises.

You get closer, and your relationship gets stronger.

Intimacy is important in all relationships, but it’s especially important in marriages. But when I say “intimacy,” I’m not just talking about physical or emotional closeness. Other kinds of intimacy, like intellectual, spiritual, experiential, and intentional, are just as important.

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Let’s talk about choosing to be close. This type is about the promises people make to each other. For example, if you decide to buy a house, a car, or a dog together, you are making a promise to each other (regardless of whether you are married or not). And relocating together is a sign of this type of closeness.

When these kinds of closeness work well for a couple, the relationship is healthy. So, living together will give you a chance to “test” and see if you can build and keep these close bonds before you get married. And if that happens, it will strengthen your relationship and give you more confidence about getting married.

The Bad

Other people might not agree.

About everything, everyone has an opinion. Most people are happy to tell you what it is, even if you don’t ask. So, it can be hard to do something without the approval of your family or friends. Religion often comes between you and the people you love. People who live together before getting married are looked down upon by many.

For instance, a lot of Catholics don’t like it. So, maybe one or both of you grew up in a family that went to church a lot and took the church’s teachings very seriously. Your family could get mad at you if you don’t follow the spiritual rules. If both people’s families and friends don’t want them to move in, that’s not good.

But if one of you comes from a family that doesn’t like the idea and the other comes from a family that does, that can still cause trouble. The partner whose family is okay with it might not understand why the other person’s family isn’t. In the worst cases, this can cause people to lose their family and friend relationships. So, it could be supported if you thought about this before you moved in together.

Your relationship could get worse if you don’t support each other.

Whether you are getting married or not, deciding to live with your partner is a big step. Heck, it’s not always easy to live with anyone else besides yourself. Having a classmate can help you feel less lonely, but it can also bring a lot of problems.

So, if you don’t have the assistance of your friends and family, it’s likely that it will hurt your relationship. There may be strain and anger between you and this person. Even if it’s not said out loud and has nothing to do with the two of you, things from the outside world can still cause you to fight.

Living with anyone can be hard in and of itself at times. If you’ve ever shared a room with someone, you know what I mean. So, if you don’t have a good support system in place, you could put your relationship at risk because it could lead to new problems that you and your partner haven’t dealt with yet.

You will save cash, but your relationship may suffer as a result.

You have full control over your money when you are single or live alone. No one can tell you how to spend your money or what you can buy. But that might change when you move in with your partner. You might still have your bank accounts, but you’ll be paying for things together.

There will be things to figure out, like how to pay the rent or mortgage and who will pay for groceries and utilities. You may have very different ideas about how these things should be done. And then there’s the problem of spending by outsiders or people on their own. One could be a spend-all, and the other might be a “saver.” If the saver thinks that the spender is being irresponsible by spending their money, they will be upset.

One of you might think it’s a good idea to buy a $200 outfit just for fun, while the other might think it’s a bad idea. Or maybe one wants to spend $300 on a gourmet meal, and the other thinks it’s a waste of money. Couples can have a lot of trouble when they have different ideas about how to spend money.


You and your spouse should choose if you lived together before getting married. As you can see, there is no clear right or wrong answer. The decision is as unique as the couple who is making it. So, no matter what you choose, make sure you and your partner have important talks about it and that you both know the pros and cons. Then, please do your best and trust that things will turn out as they should.

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