Sunday, August 27, 2023

Ladies And Gentlemen, This Is Not True About Marriage.

Why do some men like marrying women so much younger than them? The responses from some people during my research were a deluge in the comments section. I really enjoyed reading those comments. Thanks for commenting.

Today I am writing to address some misconceptions about women most people have, especially people from this part of the world. Many comments show that many men and women have little or no knowledge of biology and life.

1) I will debunk all the lies and myths about women and teach you the right thing. But in the Bible, many men, if not all men, married women younger than them, however, it must be stated here that God never instructed anywhere in the Bible that a man MUST be older than his wife. For your information, all over the world today, many wives are older than their husbands but you won’t know except they tell you. And their marriages are super-working.

2) Respect is a product of personal good nature and behaviours (good morals or mannerisms). Younger age doesn’t truly make people give you the respect you deserve as an older person. A much younger wife can be so disrespectful and rude to her much older husband if she has a bad character. A nasty person is a nasty person no matter their age. You know what I am talking about, don’t you?

3) Women are not supposed to look older than their husbands we believe. Most times, women who look older than their husbands are mostly malnourished, maltreated, overstretched, overstressed, overworked and neglected wives. Wives who work themselves to death every day will definitely look older than their husbands. When I got married to my wife, even though we were struggling financially, I made sure that my wife wasn’t overworked. I helped her at home with cooking, laundry, dishwashing, cleaning the house, etc. We worked together. Sometimes I did everything all alone. In all the compounds I lived in, I never allowed my wife to sweep the compounds. 

I would call and pay the sweepers (the afoles) to do that for us. If we had problems with our pumping machine or borehole, while the other wives in the compound went outside to fetch water carrying basins or kegs on their heads, I never allowed my wife to do that. Rather, I will pay someone to come help us get water. Ladies and gentlemen, I wasn’t trying to form a “big man” or lover boy nor was I under any spell. I just knew from time to time that letting my wife work herself to death would definitely affect her looks with time. I am not even five years older than my wife, yet she looks so young that I have had some challenges telling my friends, neighbours and church members that she isn’t that young in age.

Dear friends, the major reason many wives get older than their husbands or real age is because of lack of or poor personal care. Many wives are not properly taken care of by their husbands. Some women themselves are their real problems. Who told you that because you have given birth to children you’re now a grandmother? Who told you that because you have been married for 10, 15 or 20 years you’re a “MAAMI”? No, ladies! You have to work on your body, fashion sense, diet and carriage. Don’t become an ANCESTOR in your husband’s house. Keep your sexiness and neatness alive. Of course, when a woman gives birth, she goes through some physiological changes. However, try your best to help yourself keep fit and sexy for your “Bobo” at home.

And to the men, you can’t be saying that you want an ever-young-looking or sweet 16 wife year in, year out and yet you don’t take care of her at all. Please help your wife at home with some chores. Help her with the children when they’re crying, “pooing” or looking dirty. Please help her with the laundry, help her carry the little children, help her bathe the babies and dress them up for school or church. Sometimes cook if you know how to. If you have some money, please get her a washing machine or a house help. Please use your money to beautify your wife. Spend on her, or who do you want to spend your money on nah? Stop comparing your wife with your old mum in the village in terms of workload and strength. Please help her in any way you can.

Fourth, most African women believe that their lives are like that of a flower. That’s not true. It’s our “draconian” culture and tradition that says that. In the Western world, men or women don’t talk that way. It’s the ignorant, callous and selfish people of Africa who believe that and talk that way. Most African men are traditional men hence very selfish. Most won’t marry a woman who is 30 years old or above 30. Friends, my wife was in her 30s when I married her and I have never had a moment to regret my decision one bit. Instead, we are having one of the best marriages in the world. Friends, a woman has no expiring date. If god who is her maker never said so about her why then do you say so about her? A lady who is 20 years old is not better than a lady who is in her 30s or 40s. In fact, the older a woman is, the sweeter she becomes and better suited for marriage. “O boy, these mature ladies sweetly die.” Traditional African men, you are missing greatly. I enjoy my wife like “kilode”.

Unfortunately, some of our ladies themselves are so ignorant and gullible about who they are and their real worth. Ladies, you’re so special. Let no man marry you out of pity no matter your age. Men, please do the right thing; stop thinking that you’re doing women some favour by marrying them. Stop treating women as if they are trash or worthless. A woman you don’t value, you won’t treat her like a queen. My wife means the whole world to me and that’s why I treat her in a very special way (if you want to call me “woman wrapper”. Na you sabi). Some of you have met me in person with my wife. Isn’t she beautiful and youthful? Many thanks for reading, commenting, liking and sharing.

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