Online Cheating, Flirtation, Affairs and Love Connections are the modern ways of our lives today especially among the young generation.
Hey, welcome to another edition of my weekly articles and consultation; if you are new to Relationships Hack Centre…I just want sincerely welcome you; please visit our Resource Centre at the top corner of our website and you find all articles and blogs to help you build a strong relationship, understand how to deal with present situation at any level of your relationship.
Also, we encourage you to share, comments, support, donate, contact us for any help, and being part of this family. You are not alone…
“So Let us dive to understand a scenario”
Donna was engaged to be married in two weeks. She was sitting at her fiancés computer, looking to find addresses to send early thank you notes when it happened. Donna “accidentally opened” the email that changed everything in an instant. “Tina, thanks for sending me those pics last night. They were even sexier then the ones you sent before.
“Online Cheating, Flirtation,Affairs and Love Connections”
I’m sure I’ll be thinking about you and those pictures tonight as I drift off to sleep with a smile on my face.. I’ll call you tomorrow after work on my drive home.
” Stunned, sickened and panicked, Donna confronted Todd over the phone while he was at work. He was home in fifteen minutes and in a marathon fight that last until midnight Todd denied having an affair.
He said he’d met Tina online in a chat forum and had never even met her in person. He wasn’t even sure Tina was her real name.
Todd explained the stress associated with the upcoming wedding was killing him and he was just mindlessly browsing the web when he stumbled into this chat with his new online “friend”.
At first they talked about day to day stuff, even the wedding plans. But after a couple of weeks it turned flirtatious, and after a couple more, sexual. He urged Donna to read the emails so she would believe him.
As painful as it was to read the sexually charged correspondence, Donna read far enough to believe they’d never met.
However, although they decided not to call off the wedding, Donna moved into the spare room. Too humiliated to face it she told no one! Fifteen days later she walked down the Isle of White, all smiles. Fast forward nine months to today. Todd and Donna are in couples counselling.
The outlook is shaky at best. This leads us to the question that is facing more of today’s couples than can possibly be estimated.
Online Cheating or flirting?
My answer is simple, that answer is totally up to you. If you find out your mate has been heating up the internet with another woman and it bothers you, which I’m fairly sure it will, then yes, without a doubt, that’s cheating.
The idea of “finding out” itself, indicates that there was hiding of the truth involved in the first place. If your man knew you wouldn’t dig it, so he hid it in the first place, then even he knew it was cheating – no matter what he says about how innocent it was.
If you are one of the very small minority of women out there that would not be bothered by this behaviour, who would shrug if off as “boys with a keyboard will be boys”, then you wouldn’t be asking this question in the first place.
Cheating and Affairs
Cheating used to be very black and white. However these days a lot of men would like to think the internet has created a million shades of grey. I beg to differ. I think cheating is still black and white. I think it’s fairly easy to define as a behaviour that creates feelings of emotional or sexual betrayal.
I think men know when they are cheating, almost always confirmed by their hiding the behaviour in question. Now, I know, women do bad things too.
However, statistically men are much more likely to engage in “internet affairs”. Not to mention many real world physical affairs start online and men who engage in questionable online behaviour are vastly more likely to have a “real” affair.
So, in the end, only you know the answer.
Is it cheating? Ask yourself one thing, “does it feel OK to me?” If the answer to that question is no, then your answer is, yes, he is cheating. Don’t cut him any slack on interpretation of the rules. Trust me, in his heart of hearts, he knows it’s cheating too.
Effects, Worries and Concerns
- Cheating is considered unpardonable.
- What if you cheated on your partner in a momentary lapse and are now very much regretting it.
- Everybody takes cheating by the partner very seriously. But most of us cheat at one or the other time -if not physically then emotionally.
- Should you tell your partner or not?
- Love Can Not Be Lost-
- You are worried that if you tell your partner, you may loose the relationship and the love forever.
- But you cannot afford to loose the love.
- You love your partner very much and the thought of staying separately frightens you.
- You do not want to take any risk with your love.
- If you tell your partner about your cheating, you may lose that love.
Love And Lies Can Not Stay Together-
If we love deeply then our relationship is always very open. We are so open and honest with each other that forget physical cheating, we do not even think about emotional cheating.
Once we decide to hide our cheating we go into mental trauma.
We are always thinking about the cheating and not telling. Along with that we are worried about getting caught. This torture of emotions affects our love and our partner will sense that something is amiss. The relationship will suffer. In both the alternatives, the relationship stands to suffer because the deed has been done.
What do you think is the better alternative? You will tell your partner or hide?