Wednesday, June 14, 2023

Recognize Burnout so that it Doesn’t Derail Your Relationship — The Connected Relationship

It’s safe to say that most of us are experiencing some level of burnout.  There’s an exhaustion that we didn’t know was possible.  Remember when you thought that staying up all night to cram for an exam in college was exhausting?  Then you realized that exam cramming doesn’t compare to new parent exhaustion from lack of sleep for weeks at a time?  All of that compares to the burnout exhaustion that we’re feeling now. The pandemic. The uncertainty.  The vacillating between inschoolquaranteenvideolearningwhatshappeningnow???

Burnout is a wicked combination of physical, mental, and emotional overwhelm.  It leaves us feeling fairly desperate.  And, let’s be honest, it doesn’t allow us to be a highly-enlightened, best version of ourselves.  Things certainly get derailed so much more quickly in our relationships, too.

Many of us, when feeling taxed, will dig deep, pull up our bootstraps, get-er-done!  It’s what we’ve learned and, to be honest, it’s kind what we’ve come to believe over time works for us.  As things get harder and harder, we often add a critical voice — our own internal itty bitty shitty committee — to help inspire and motivate us.

At least that’s what we tell ourselves.  Until we start realizing that the internal critical voice starts to spill out onto the people around us and you find yourself surprised by the things that are coming out of your mouth.  It’s one thing for you to direct that venom to yourself, but it sounds pretty awful when you find yourself saying these things to your partner.

Sigh.  Then you feel EVEN WORSE about yourself, and the thought of trying to get through this state of burnout feels even more hopeless and concerned about what the state of your relationship might look like on the other side of this mess.






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