Many of us experience, throughout life, hardships and other circumstances which erode the ability to believe and accept who we are in nature. However, nothing is set in stone, I must say. But for some reason, an apparent repetition tends to happen, igniting the feeling of catastrophe, that feeling of losing something, of being abandoned one more time.
Self-help books teach us that we should let things go, but we can’t. It’s a phrase being paraphrased – over and over again – by many lips across continents. A recipe that will solve all your problems but turns out: It will not.
Let’s look at this scheme:
As you can see, our environment influences our brain and thinking, the interpretation of reality. Therefore the first step to re-conditioning core beliefs is noticing what kind of information we are taking. What are our attachment styles, and based on that understanding, step by step, start the rewriting of your story. How? Through repetition plus emotion.
- Surround yourself with people that acknowledge and reinforce your positive behaviors.
- Stop listening to the same old discourse and people who talk badly or dismiss somebody else’s reality.
- Get real about needs and personality traits.
- Turn off television and media platforms, replacing them without fear with a good book (educational, novel, etc).
In my last article, I mentioned the perils of listening to fake experts, people who only spread ostracism and rejection. Science and social science exist to make us feel safe, understood, and part of the community. These recent social waves are part, like it or not, of political and economic forces.
Be aware of it, and when in doubt, seek credentialed information.