Tuesday, June 13, 2023

Sharpening Your Sexting Skills ⋆ Rain DeGrey

Dirty Talk Advice ColumnOur phones have become extensions of ourselves. From the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep we are clutching it in our hands—our portal to the rest of the world. We are living most our lives through this small rectangular window. Even our sex lives have become dominated by this device. So what do you do if sexting is a skill set that you don’t feel you have properly mastered?

Today’s topic comes courtesy of a reader that would like to level up their sexting game and is looking for some pointers. Buckle up and grab a pen, some top shelf tips are coming your way, Dirty Talk style! Yes, improving your dick pic skills are covered as well.

“All of my dating and interactions have been online for the past year and I’ve realized that I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to sexting. I don’t know what to say or how to take a good picture (yes, THAT kind of picture) and I find myself tongue tied. Errr, finger tied. Help! How do I become a better sexter and take a dick pic actually worth sending?”–Sexting Not A Confident Skill

For most of us, talking dirty is not a natural skill, but rather one that we have to work on. Luckily, like with all skills, the more we do it, the easier it gets. If you are willing to put in the time and practice, you will be a sexting champ before you know it and heating up conversations with the best of them!

First Find Your Fascinations

Unsure About SextingBefore you can lay down some serious sexting game SNACS, you have to know what turns you on and what you find hot. That might seem like a basic step, but some people haven’t even gotten that far. Think about it, if you’re not able to stay immediately and off the top of your head a list of things that turn you on and find hot, sexting will be an impossible skill to master. The first thing you have to do is sit down and get to know yourself. What are your likes and dislikes? Identify the things you find hot and the things that turn you off quicker than a cold shower. When you know exactly what those things are, sexting flows much easier.

Once you have a working idea of the things you would like to text about, your next step is to start doing some hot and heavy homework. Read some erotica, watch some porn or steamy movies and pay attention to dialog that catches your attention. Start looking for turns of phrase, pacing and energy that appeal to you. This isn’t cheating, think of it as the training wheels for sexy time talk. No matter what you say, even if it is word for word lifted from somewhere else, it’s going to be filtered through you and as a result will have your own flavor and spin. After you’ve used the training wheels for a while, you will feel more confident about doing your own versions.

Sexting is actually much easier than trying to do dirty talk in person. You get to take your time, edit yourself, think about what you want to say…it flows in a way that we don’t get to have in real life. There are multiple articles devoted to showing what bad sexting looks like, screenshots included. Think of all those unfortunate folks that were on the receiving end of bad sexting as dirty talk guinea pigs showing you what you should avoid. Having the filter of your phone is a huge benefit in terms of growing your sexting self-confidence.

A Well Done Photo Accentuates Your Words

Sexting PictureOf course, sexting isn’t just hot and steamy words, it is also hot and steamy photos. And if there is one thing that is photographed relentlessly, it is the trouser snake—based on the amount of photos I receive personally. The cock is tied with the cat in terms of most photographed things out there. There is an infinite ocean of poorly shot dick pics and there is a noticeable shortage of well done photos. A well done photo is going to get someone’s attention.

So how do you make your dick pic stand out above all the others? Like with all things worth doing, you don’t rush it. The endless blurry and out of focus flesh tubes bobbing hopefully in uncleaned bathrooms and cluttered bedrooms shows me just how often people rush a dick pic. The more care and consideration you put into your craft, the better it’s going to be.

The Better Your Photography The Better Your Sexting

Careful consider three important elements: background, presentation, and lighting. Take the time to find your best angles and think about what else can be seen in the photo. Don’t shoot in the bathroom with a toilet in the background, unless you are also advertising your interest in water sports. Don’t have piles of dirty clothes strewn about or wadded-up tissues on the ground. Your background speaks volumes about you to the receiver.

What can you do in terms of lighting? Practice a bit! Take pictures in different rooms of your house. Maybe the lighting is best in the bathroom. Perhaps noon sunlight coming through a window—as long as the neighbors don’t see. Experiment a little and find the light that really makes what your working with pop.

Additionally, flirt with different angles, get creative with it. You can use a forced perspective to make it look massive. Possibly get playful with it and have it just peeking out of your underwear. Tie a bow a round it or put it on a plater. The point is have fun with it. Make your pictures express you and your style. Make them unique from the millions of other cock shots floating around.

Build A Sexting Stash

Photo StashWhen you find what works, build a portfolio. Take a day, shoot a bunch of photos and set them aside. Have a stockpile ready so once you start sexting you can pull something from the file and send it out smoothly and confidently.

Even if penises are not your thing personally, take a look at photos that others have done. Trust me, it’s the internet, it won’t be long before you come across a photo or 5. See what others have done that works and notice things that don’t work. Why don’t they? What could you do differently that would make a better photo? Improving your photography skills is an asset that goes beyond just making you a skilled sexter and you will be happy you took the time to do it.

Keep It Consensual

Now that you have a bunch of great dick pics, keep in mind the cardinal rule of sending them—never do it unless asked. Nothing can ruin a great sexting session then hurling them at the other person right out of the gate. Get things going with your verbal game first and once you have clear consent you can start swapping photos.

Finally, the most important thing to remember about sexting is: Have fun with it! There’s no point in doing it if you’re not enjoying it. As with everything around sex, time and practice is key. Put in a little effort and before you know it, you will be sexting with the best of them. Best of luck SNACS!

Keep it Kinky My Friends,

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