Sunday, June 11, 2023

Step-by-Step Instructions on Fixing Your Marriage


When I first interviewed women who were happy in their marriages and asked for their secrets, they said these crazy things that didn’t make any sense to me.

But I was desperate enough in my painful marriage to try what they said, and when I did the things they talked about, I got my miracle.

My husband showed up like the man who had wooed me again, the one I’d fallen in love with.

And he’s been showing up that same way ever since.

So their crazy ideas were actually the things that worked to make marriage playful and passionate. Who knew that women with actual happy marriages would know what actually works, right?

Marriage Advice

This was a mind-blowing discovery for me because what those women told me was sooooo very different from what I saw modeled by my parents, who got divorced.

No coincidence, right?

Of course divorced or unhappily married people aren’t the best resource for practices that make a marriage last and thrive. That seems pretty obvious.

But what if your parents’ broken or unhappy marriage was your primary training on the inner workings of marriage? You’d have to learn the skills that contribute to a passionate, playful marriage elsewhere, right?

And if you’re anything like I was, you might not have even known there was something different to learn!

So when these women pulled back the curtain and taught me about what respect looks like and how to make myself happy and let my husband make me happy too, I was excited to put it all into a book so everyone would have all the instructions that I knew I was surely missing.

So over 20 years ago, as a new student of these magical skills I was learning and practicing, I wrote those instructions down in a book, as thoroughly as I could.

Focus on Your Desires

Then, the longer I was teaching those skills, supporting other women who were learning them and practicing them more myself, I learned more, so I wrote another book, The Empowered Wife, to share all the new insights.

I wanted every woman to have all the skills written out step by step so you could easily apply them. So you could have wins as quickly as possible and feel inspired and hopeful, which is so important if you want to have lasting change.

Then, to help women implement the skills they learned in the books, we grew the top relationship coaching organization in the world and started this blog.

I got to hear from tens of thousands of women who had made their marriages shiny and amazing again by practicing The Six Intimacy SkillsTM.

I learned even more about what helps women succeed in making their marriages last and thrive, even when they feel completely hopeless.

So I’m proud and happy to say that I’ve updated and expanded The Empowered Wife book to include instructions on what to do if your husband is threatening to leave, has another woman, or is asking for a divorce, how to recover if you’re the one who had an affair, and how to communicate if he’s not communicating at all.

I also spelled out the four pillars of the Connection Framework, which we’ve realized is so critical for lasting success, and included new case studies for hope and inspiration.

The mission to end world divorce is always a work in progress, and I’m still always learning how to best serve the women who want to end divorce in their world.

Relationship Support Community

That’s why I’m excited to announce the publication of the brand new Updated and Expanded edition of The Empowered Wife: Six Surprising Ways to Attract Your Husband’s Time and Attention.

This new version of The Empowered Wife book represents my best efforts to give you access to the magic that I’ve experienced in my marriage and vicariously through hearing about so many other marriages in the most powerful, effective way I know.

You might read the blog posts and listen to The Empowered Wife Podcast on the regular, which is going to help. We talk about the Six Intimacy Skills every single week on the podcast.

When I interview my guest each week, I ask how she fixed her marriage and try to draw out the specific things she did and how she did them, especially if they sound hard or unreasonable, because I want you to be able to do it too.

But the Intimacy Skills are subtle, and they’re deep. So deep that I’m still learning after over 20 years. And I can only take you so far with a blog or podcast.

The Skills are often mistakenly seen as a way to manipulate your husband instead of as a structure for bringing out his best by becoming your best self. .

The best way in the world to get a thorough understanding of the Six Intimacy Skills, of why they’re so powerful, and of specific ways to put them into practice with step-by-step instructions is to get your hands on the updated and expanded edition of the book The Empowered Wife, which is available in paperback and ebook form on Amazon and everywhere books are sold.

Download it on your phone or your Kindle or your tablet to read in the waiting room instead of the news to give you know-how and confidence about your marriage.

Then share it with other women. Make it your book club selection. Get it for your sister, your mom, your daughter and your bestie. Draft them into the Empowered Wife community by sharing what being a part of this community has done for you.

This is how we can end world divorce, by getting the information in the new Empowered Wife book into as many women’s hands as possible. Marriage transformation starts with understanding, with having the right information in your hands.

And that’s what I want for every woman in the world.

What’s one thing you’ll do today to help end world divorce?

By Laura Doyle

Hi! I’m Laura.

New York Times Bestselling Author

I was the perfect wife–until I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me returned.

I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills™ that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John–who has been dressing himself since before I was born.

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