Let’s talk about the subject of red flags in dating and relationship. Specifically, about some of the biggest red flags men have, according to women.
I’ve gotten into the habit of interviewing women of quality about their experiences in dating and relationships. And over the years I’ve gathered enough content about all the biggest mistakes, massive turn-offs and similar things that women really don’t like about men. Things that set off alarm bells in women’s brains so they instantly dislike the guy who does them.
I’ll share my insights below so we can all learn from the mistakes of other men. To make sure our dating life and all of our relationships in general run as smoothly as possible.
A Comprehensive List Of Massive Relationship Red Flags Men Can Have
Make sure to read through the entire list so you know about all the red flags a guy can show when he’s dating women.
You might do some of these things yourself. Or you may find some things on the list that you were thinking of doing/saying to women. If so, please take the time to reflect on yourself and your life and why you may have wanted to be doing these foolish things.
When women notice the following red flags in a relationship, they tend to want to start running for the hills. They lose a ton of respect for the guys who show these signs, which can quickly bring their relationship to its breaking point.
Some of these red flags are applicable to women as well and I’ll eventually make a separate post about that. But we’re focusing on men’s mistakes at the moment, so keep that in mind.
Finally, these are REAL sentences from REAL women. My comment on what these red flags mean or to provide context is in parentheses () and in bold text.
Relationship warning signs women see in men:
- If he tells you “If you love me, you’ll do or say this or that.” (One of the biggest relationship red flags right here!)
- When he controls where you can or can’t go, how you can or can’t dress, or what you can and can’t do. (Controlling behavior is abusive and drives people away)
- When a man wants to 50/50 everything in the relationship, but all the housework is “woman’s duty.” (Thinks he’s above women and wants traditional roles without the equality)
- When everything and everyone else is at fault except for him, when things don’t go well in his life. (Can’t take responsibility for his life’s choices and decisions)
- Believes all women are emotional and irrational, but when he gets angry it’s not really an emotion because he’s just “in the moment” and “very into it.” (Basic hypocrisy along with false beliefs about women and putting all women in the same group)
- When he doesn’t have many friends and doesn’t allow his girlfriend/wife to have many friends or various hobbies and interests which don’t have anything to do with him. (Controlling and abusive behavior)
- Says “I respect women, but… [and then says something extremely disrespectful]”
- Says “I don’t like it when you cry because you’re trying to manipulate me.” (Thinks women are out to get him, doesn’t trust or understand women for that matter)
- When he’s simping for some girl streamer, instagram model or onlyfans girl. (Simping for girls is never attractive and is pretty desperate if he’s already in a relationship)
- Wants a traditional partner for himself like his mom was to his dad, but when you explain what these traditional roles entail for him, that he has to support you while you stay at home, you become a “gold digger.” (Hypocrisy)
- When he unironically calls himself alpha/sigma/red-pill/black-pill/superior male, etc. (Trying to overcompensate for his lack of self-esteem, confidence, etc.)
- If he worships people like Elon Musk, Jordan B. Peterson, Andrew Tate, Donald Trump, etc. (Worshiping hypocrites, abusers and misogynists isn’t attractive, duh!)
- When a man says in a condescending way something like “You just don’t really understand [some really obvious thing], that’s why you’re thinking like that.” or “You should look into and learn about [some trivial thing], then we’ll talk.” (Thinks he understands everything better than women. Condescending.)
- When a man pours out his overflowing emotions on various physical things. For example, starts breaking his tools after failing to do something. Or starts smashing his keyboard/mouse/screen when he loses a game. Which means when he gets overwhelmed by emotions, he’s very likely to hit his girlfriend/wife/partner if she’s too near. (Emotionally immature, doesn’t have his shit together)
- Inability to take care of himself. If he can’t even make a basic meal for himself or clean his room, then you’re going to be like a second mother to him, and not his girlfriend/partner. (If a woman feels she’s like a mother to her husband or boyfriend, then ALL ATTRACTION IS LOST INSTANTLY. When a woman becomes a man’s “second mother,” he’s definitely not going to be attractive to her as a man anymore)
- When he ignores you on purpose when you tell him to not do something. Either because it hurts you or doesn’t feel good. But he still keeps doing it, no matter how many times you tell him. (Insensitive, abusive behavior)
- When he says he wants a wife, but if you ask him what he’d do to help out at home, says he can do the dishes or make some food every once in a while. But what about the other stuff? Who’s gonna clean, dust and mop the floor? Who’s gonna clean the toilet and shower? Do the laundry, dry the clothes, iron them and sort them? And that’s just the simple stuff when you don’t have any kids or pets! Some men think all they need to do is pitch in with some dish washing and taking out the trash once in a while – and that everything else will magically take care of itself. (Selfish, can’t take care of himself, lack of empathy, doesn’t see his wife as an equal partner but a housekeeper/mother/etc.)
- If he says he wants kids but that taking care of kids is a woman’s “job” and he just wants to come home and rest and relax after a “hard day at work.” (Selfish, lack of empathy, set in outdated traditional roles, treats women as property instead of as an equal partner)
- Another massive relationship red flag is if a guy says he wants “peace and quiet” and for his girlfriend or wife to never nag him. Well, if he cleaned up after himself and if you didn’t have to take care of him like he’s a little baby, then maybe you wouldn’t need to “get on his nerves” by asking him to do stuff around the house. (Delusional. I wonder how these men think they’ll get “peace and quiet” after they have some kids)
- When men expect their girlfriend or wife to always cook them dinner or make food for them.
- When men see their partners as rivals, adversaries or even as competitors. If a woman’s results or accomplishments are better in some fields that are considered “manly,” it makes them feel inferior. For example, if a woman makes more money than him, is a better skilled gamer, driver, programmer, mathematician, etc. (Massively insecure with low self-esteem)
- If he’s clingy and writes “what are you up to?” every five minutes. And if you don’t reply, he’s constantly spamming you until you do. (It means he has an anxious attachment style and needs constant reassurance – which is a huge insecurity and shows low self-esteem)
- When he threatens to commit suicide if you do something he doesn’t want to. (Emotional blackmail)
- When he gossips, kisses and tells, etc. (Immature)
- If he can’t control his anger and experiences angry outbursts a lot. (Emotionally immature)
- Overly aggressive, always trying to prove something to other men around him or people in general. (Insecure & low self-esteem)
- If he’s racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc.
- When all he wants to do is watch TV all day or play computer games all day, without doing ANYTHING else. Has zero other interests except for video games. (Not ambitious, lazy, passive in life)
- When all he talks about is his car. It means you’ll always be second to his car.
- Doesn’t like animals/pets.
- His opinion always matters above everything else and he never changes his mind.
- Threatens you if you try to leave him.
- When they’re “mansplaining” something to you after you tell them you’re actually an expert in this field. They assume you’re still clueless and your education doesn’t matter.
- If they say “Real men don’t cry” and that they don’t show emotions. But when they get angry, shit starts flying around because they can’t control themselves.
- When they tell you you need to “be more feminine.”
- When a man can’t maintain basic hygiene and says real men are supposed to be smelly and hairy, etc.
- Disrespecting or humiliating random people. As if everyone owes them something or is worth nothing. (Lack of empathy and low self-esteem)
- Is heavily into various conspiracy theory groups on social media sites.
- When they have an opinion about everything and act like a know-it-all and can never simply say “I don’t know.” Or the reverse, when they have no opinion about anything and just say yes to everything. (Two unattractive extremes)
- Inability to apologize, ask for something, express gratitude, etc. (Emotionally stunted, lack of communication skills)
- Always counts other people’s money and tries to outspend everyone. (Poor self-esteem)
- When the subject of women suffering a lot from sexual assault and harassment, etc. comes up, he replies with “Men suffer from that too!” or “Not all men are like that!” to try to downplay or justify. (This just shows he’s clueless and insensitive.)
- If he forbids his girlfriend/wife/partner to have any male friends and thinks women cheat and betray men as soon as they get the chance. (Extremely jealous, has trust issues and poor self-esteem)
- If he thinks that “it’s a woman’s job to satisfy a man sexually!” because “he’s a man and wants it every day!” and can’t take NO for an answer when it comes to sex. (Lack of empathy, thinks women are objects and property instead of equal partners)
- Says “normal women don’t dye their hair, pierce their ears, wear revealing clothing” etc.
- Is overly religious to the point he believes women should serve men, just like “god and the bible intended.” (Believes women are objects and property instead of equal partners)
- Bases his self-worth on the amount of money he makes or the things he owns and the clothes he wears. (Poor self-esteem)
- When he wastes all his money on stupid things he definitely doesn’t need. (Poor self-esteem,k lack of self-control and sound judgement)
This list is by no means complete. It’s just something real women have said they consider as massive relationship red flags they saw done by the men they’ve dated and had relationships with. And as I hear about more red flags from men, I’ll keep adding to this list.
I urge you to learn from these mistakes. But most importantly, try and understand why women would find them so appalling.