Friday, April 12, 2024

The Power of Purposeful Dating


Regina was so frustrated about her dating life after her divorce three years ago.

She wondered why the guys she went on dates with didn’t click with her. She was attractive, funny, smart but the men who wanted to date her just didn’t stick around.

She didn’t want to think of herself as a loser, but she kept sinking into thinking something was very wrong with HER!

This is when she contacted us for a no-charge coaching conversation to help her get out of her dating funk.

During this conversation, Regina discovered something very surprising…

She hadn’t been clear about why she was dating! It wasn’t purposeful dating.

Regina certainly isn’t the only one who falls into this trap of miserable dating experiences because they don’t stop to ask themselves why they’re interested in dating in the first place.

There are so many reasons people date…

-companionship and friendship
-intimacy
-romance
-commitment which might include marriage
-thinking it’s what you’re supposed to do
-soul mate love
-future financial security
-start a family
-someone to take care of you
-someone to take care of

The list could go on and on.

The point is that so many of us open up to dating without really being clear what we want.

This is the way it was for the two of us in our previous marriages. We just stumbled into dating and then marriage.

When the two of us got together, it was a different story.

We were very clear about the type of relationship we wanted and made room to discover if we each wanted the same thing–which we did.

If you’d like to discover more about our dating experience and creating the relationship we wanted, we were interviewed for an article for DatingNews.com.

You can read the article “Susie & Otto Collins’ New Book Big Fat Love Can Open New Possibilities for Couples” here…

 

Back to Regina…

As she slowed down and talked with us about what she wanted…

She realized that she wanted to be with someone she could share her interest in spiritual growth, along with intimacy and a deep friendship.

As she spoke, she realized that the men she’d been dating had been interested in the physical intimacy part but nothing more which had left her feeling empty, unfulfilled and a failure.

She’d been so concentrated on being who she thought they wanted her to be that she had completely bypassed the kind of relationship she wanted.

When you get honest with yourself, get clear and start focusing on what you want, possibilities do open to you.

If you’ve felt like a dating failure, start looking in a more positive direction…

A direction that takes you toward what you want!

If you’d like to get clear about your intention for dating or a relationship, contact us here…

 

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