If you’re trying to practice the 6 Intimacy Skills™ in your relationship and they’re not working or you can’t remember to do them—or aren’t sure how to do them in your situation—that’s so frustrating and discouraging!
You are not the only one.
On The Empowered Wife Podcast, I interview women who have had success transforming their marriages because I want to talk about what’s possible for you and for your marriage so you feel inspired and hopeful.
I invite guests to share how they did it so that you can try the same things. I don’t hold anything back because I want you to be empowered and make your marriage last and thrive.
But I get that just knowing what the 6 Intimacy Skills are or just hearing or reading about them doesn’t make it easy to implement them by yourself.
Or you may have success implementing them for one incredible weekend then get amnesia. Just like I do sometimes.
I get amnesia if I don’t have reminders that I want to keep my dignity no matter how my husband is showing up or that my happiness is my responsibility and that if I overdraw my energy account I’m going to turn into Bratty Brat, my unpleasant alter ego.
I need constant reminders that it’s such a relief and so much less exhausting to focus on myself instead of thinking I know what my husband should do.
Here are four places to get such reminders and banish Skills amnesia.
I’m such a fan of the community on our campus, the coaches, the coach trainees, the students, and the podcast guests because they remind me of who I want to be, of how I want to show up.
It’s like Zig Ziglar says: “Some people complain that motivation wears off, like bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” And I know that many of you are reading this blog daily for motivation, which is such a genius thing to do.
Even if you’re not a student or a coach, every wife and girlfriend can be a part of the free Adored Wife group. It’s a launchpad where you can meet the best relationship coaches in the world and figure out the best next move for your relationship.
Thousands of women who think having a good marriage is important (because it is!) are in there and we’d all like to meet you!
I would love for every woman to have the support of a safe, empathetic coach. It’s like having a fairy godmother.
One of the powerful things about having a coach is how she can help you pull your eyes off of someone else’s paper and put them squarely back on your own paper simply by asking a question.
Or inviting you to look at what you’re doing to make yourself happy or at how you’re feeling and what your desires are.
And when you get coaching on our campus, eventually you start asking yourself the same powerful questions that your coach is asking you.
Questions like: “How do you want to show up today? How are you making yourself happy? What is your vision? What’s your desire? How did you feel in that interaction?”
I became empowered in my marriage when I could stop pointing to someone else and everything he was doing wrong and tend to Laura.
When I could see my options for how I wanted to show up, see where I was exhausting myself trying to control someone else and decide what attitude I wanted to have.
3. The Skills in Your Pocket
I’m always thinking of ways I can provide the structure that’s so effective here on the campus for every woman who wants to make her marriage last and thrive.
It’s full of prompts and questions to help you pull your eyes off of someone else’s paper and put them squarely back on your own. This workbook and journal invite you to look at what you’re doing to make yourself happy.
It asks you to reflect on how you feel and helps you uncover your true desires, which are the seat of feminine power.
Now that we’ve helped over 15,000 women fix their relationships, we’ve learned a thing or two about a thing or two.
And I wanted to put those things in a workbook and journal.To invite you to do some self-reflection, some self-expressing, some dreaming and envisioning to practice the Intimacy Skills more effectively.
So if you are inspired to take action to become more peaceful, joyful, and confident, The Empowered Wife Workbook is another tool for revitalizing your marriage and restoring yourself. It’s a safe, private way to have some important conversations with yourself.
When I was trying to fix my broken marriage, I started helping other women fix their marriages, which was a breakthrough because that’s what got me to be able to make my marriage better. I could finally be the wife and woman I wanted to be. I got new habits because I felt like I had the encouragement and supervision of other women who were also hurting in their relationships.
Then their marriages got better too. Then it just kept going and going and it became this mission to end world divorce. The Empowered Wife Workbook and Journal is the latest way I’m working on that mission.
4. And You
I think you are on that mission too, or you would not be reading this right now. You’re part of this movement that has sprung up around making our marriages last and thrive.
I still feel the responsibility to help as many women as possible make their marriages shiny. Thank you for being on this journey with me and helping me have the shiny marriage I have today. I couldn’t do it without you.
Now that you know about these resources, what’s one thing you’ll do today to create some structure for yourself so you can revitalize your marriage?