Last weekend my sister and I went with our two daughters on a spa trip to Chicago. Along with enjoying two fabulous spas, I had a huge aha and uncovered a possibility for love that I hadn’t seen before.
Innocently, my sister tucked in a tag that was sticking out from under the collar on the back of the sweatshirt I had been wearing.
Instantly, I felt the reaction of “Leave my tag alone! I’ll do it myself if I want it tucked in!”
Her gesture wasn’t met with a “Thank You” but rather irritation and pulling away on my part.
Now please understand that my sister and I are very close and have a great relationship and later she very lovingly told me something I hadn’t considered before…
How sometimes my over-the-top reaction to a boundary that others don’t expect and maybe I’m not even aware of…
Pushes people away and cuts off connection.
Wow–I’m so grateful that my sister had enough love and trust in me to tell me something like that…
And I’m grateful that I now get to see a possibility for love that I hadn’t seen before.
Now I can be aware of when these reactions come up inside me. When that happens, I can slow down, take a breath and allow myself the space to make a more loving choice.
I had appreciated my growth in learning to have strong personal boundaries…
But I’d never considered how my reactions, even over seemingly small, inconsequential matters, might stop connections and love with others that I really want.
I’d never considered that I could use my words in a kinder way about something so small as whether it is OK for someone to fix a tag sticking out of my clothes or not.
I got to practice having a boundary in a kinder way as I later made a request of my sister that she ask me before she tucked in my tags.
Possibilities for love can be found not just in the big things but in the small things in relationships as well.
If you’d like to uncover some ways that you’re losing out on possibilities for love, not just with a partner but with anyone in your life, we’ve got an awesome gift for you.
We’re starting a brand new program next week that runs through mid-December called “A Million Possibilities for Love” and if you’d like to come to the first session as our guest we’d love to have you.