Ways to overcome a breakup. Breakups feel like the worst thing in the world when you are going through one. No matter how emotionally mature or evolved you are it feels impossible to overcome. It doesn’t feel like anything will help and all you have the energy to do may be to sit and cry about it all. Here are some things to know that may help you to gradually feel ok again.
Going no contact feels painful but may really help you right now. It can be difficult if you share a home, pets, children or bills but going no contact or minimal contact may really help you both short-term and long-term. This will feel very difficult to do but try staying with friends and detoxing on social media.
Try to avoid access to your ex. This includes hiding their profiles on socials, shopping at a different supermarket if there’s one you know they like or even getting rid of things that remind you of them. Hide the memories, give them to a friend to look after until further notice.
Accept that you can’t change their mind. It’s their mind therefore you cannot force them to see things differently. You will try to bargain and think of ways to win them back or make them miss you. This is taking up lots of your energy and won’t have any effect on them if they have made their decision. Try to remember you deserve to be with someone who doesn’t need persuading to be with you. They just do. Focus on yourself instead.
Sit with your feelings. Yes there will be days where you can’t bring yourself to do any of the things you would usually do. On those days it is ok to sit with your feelings and grieve the loss of the relationship. When you are grieving you may need those times to feel sad and wallow a little. Give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling.
Don’t get carried away with the wallowing. A little is ok but listen to the people around you too. If you notice your wallowing has turned into depressive like symptoms lasting longer than is probably healthy it may be time to take action. Let your friends help you. Say yes to joining them in activities. Try to find a little bit of strength to do basic things you would usually do. It will start to feel easier.
Talk to someone. No matter how many friends and family members you may have around you, you may still feel like nobody understands. Talk to a professional and be guided in a supportive and effective way. We offer a FREE 20 minute telephone session to get you started. Book yours here.