“Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.” – Susan David, PhD
I shared this quote early on, at a recent relationship retreat that I taught.
Because what most gets in the way of meaningful and connected relationships?
Fear.
Shame.
Embarrassment.
Sadness.
Disappointment.
Hurt.
Anxiety.
Even if you don’t identify these emotions as underlying concerns, they are the foundational emotions for much of the friction and distance in long-term relationships.
All of these are uncomfortable emotional states, and therefore most of us have learned to do SOMETHING else so we don’t have to feel them for long — whether it’s lashing out, emotionally retreating, ignoring, appeasing, making jokes, or numbing.
But our willingness to be emotionally uncomfortable, and then learning to communicate effectively and kindly within these states of discomfort, is key to a meaningful relationship and a meaningful life.
Where do you get started? Mindfulness practices and gaining skills in emotional agility. 🙂
If you’d like to learn skills in these areas to improve your relationships, reach out to me at: [email protected]
~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus — San Diego-based Sex Coach, Intimacy Speaker, & Sociologist
