Wednesday, June 14, 2023

When a Candy Bar Wrapper Sends Your Relationship into a Tailspin

We were asked recently how long it took us to get to a point in our relationship where we didn’t have conflict with one another.

Hhmmm.  The answer is NEVER.  And that isn’t the point, really.  We’re humans (and we’re guessing you are, too), so there will always be moments when we’re, well, human.  We’re tired, hungry, lonely, distracted, not the best versions of ourselves.  That impacts the people we interact with.

Recently, for example, I (Yolanda, here) was going to throw something away in the garbage, and when I opened the trash can I saw a Snickers wrapper, right there taunting me.  I basically exploded.  I mean, to the point where I was startling to myself.

Hello, anger.  And there, a little deeper, was sadness.  And below the sadness was disappointment.

You see, we had taken a long hike the day before.  Shamon’s used to hiking more than the 13 miles that we did that day, but I’m certainly not.  I was proud of myself.  Excited for us, since the long hike is prep for a much longer one that we hope to take one day.

And our custom, our ritual, is to celebrate these long journeys with a Snickers bar.  But that day, Shamon ate one without me — not to be malicious, but because I had already gone to bed

But I didn’t know that when I saw that wrapper in the trash.  I just knew I was feeling all of the feels.  Mostly the disappointment.  

Guess what?  Disappointment happens ALL OF THE TIME in all of our relationships.  And we happen to have a course to teach you how to handle things when you’re smack in the middle of it.

I went through the steps that we teach and, in the end learned some things about myself.  Things that I was able to share with Shamon.  What started out as a volatile situation ended up with an intimate conversation that allowed us to connect more deeply.

Want to know the steps that helped us to get to the other side of Snickergate 2021?  Check out our FREE course!

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