This is not a question to discourage you from getting married or query why you want to be married, but there’s something you need to ponder on concerning this issue of getting married which many enter into it unprepared, or before it becomes a burden.
There are several reasons why people get married, let’s quickly recall while they do so.
1. To enjoy physical intimacy
2. To relish the married life
3. For social status
4. To escape being single
5. To break out from parental’s control
6. Due to pressure (both internal and external)
7. Fear of remaining single
8. Age factor
9. A perceived feeling of readiness
10. Because their spouse is beautiful or wealthy.
All these reasons sound good superficially, but if you dare venture into marriage based on any of these, you’d bite your fingers afterward.
Hear this, marriage is beautiful, only when the parties involved are beautiful inside out. The outcome of those marriages you see is the manifestation of the personalities in them. If you’re wicked being single, marriage could amplify it if you’re married to the person who provokes evil in you.
Do you want to be married?
Please understand the following about marriage.
1. Marriage is like a building. See, marriage is beautiful when a man and his wife are ready to build a beautiful union. No marriage was ever successful the day it was initiated, it was successful because a wise woman builds her house, and a wise husband protects the builder.
Every marriage is like a bare land, you determine the kind of building you want, you then marry a woman who can build what you want as a man, and as a woman, you marry the man who can protect you as a builder.
That he has 6 packs doesn’t mean he’d give you the emotional and spiritual security you need in marriage. That she’s a good cook or a 1000 yards wife material doesn’t mean she’s a good builder.
Mind you, the foundation of your marriage determines the strength of your building, and how it would survive the test of time.
2. Who you marry is more important than your wedding day. I have come to realize that what makes a marriage bad has more to do with the personalities of those involved in it. If a bad woman marries a bad man, their marriage will be worst. If a good man marries a bad woman, they will endure their union.
However, when a good man marries a good woman, I’m sure you know the outcome. There are no perfect spouses, every successful or enviable marriage you see is a union of two imperfect people who perfectly managed their imperfections to the point where you see more of a perfect blend than you’d have their irreconcilable differences played out.
If you marry a spouse who is inconsiderate, selfish, or hostile, only by God’s mercy would such a union be enjoyed. Don’t focus so much on your wedding day that you neglect the kind of person you want to marry.
If you marry the wrong person, the excitement and glee of your wedding day would soon be forgotten.
3. How you go into marriage would define your experience in marriage. There are two doors into marriage: the front and back door, or the narrow and wide door. Many use the back or wide door because doing it the normal way is tiring, unpopular, and demanding. The front door is God’s way, while the back door is the world’s way.
If you like to go into marriage through premarital sex, depending on the vision from prophets, unwanted pregnancy, marrying your best friend, dating, and the like, it does not guarantee you a rollercoaster ride in marriage.
And if you go in God’s way, you’re not absolved from challenges, but through it, you’ll emerge a conqueror. If He leads you into it, He will do it through error-proof steps provided you acknowledge Him in all your ways.
4. Marriage doesn’t change a person, it amplifies their personality. It is only God who changes a person, don’t attempt to do so by getting married to them. A wicked person can be more wicked in marriage depending on what influences their life in marriage, and likewise, a calm person might go wild based on what controls him in marriage.
Marry a person whose mind has been transformed, not a person whose mind has been conformed to cultural, personal, or worldly philosophy.
5. Marriage is not easy. Does that scare you? Just as it is not easy to make it in life, it’s not easy to remain married or be successful in it. Things that make marriage uneasy are the following: the challenges to face, the work to do (If you’re lazy mentally, physically, spiritually, or otherwise, don’t go into marriage. You must be ready to work to improve yourself and your spouse. As the saying rightly asserts, we are all work in progress) and there are sacrifices and compromises to make.
If you want it easy, don’t be married. But if you know that come what may, you’d overcome any challenges that come your way in it, you can embark on the journey.
So, why do you want to be married? Think about this before you go into it, bearing in mind those truths about marriage you just read.